Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81018 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81018 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
A deep frown marred Trevor’s perfect face. “Did you see him at all last night?”
“Yeah.” I shrugged, pushing the pasta salad farther away. The thought of eating only made my stomach turn. “He came home eventually and apologized a million times once I clued him in on what had happened. He seriously had no idea he’d missed dinner. He asked if I had a fun night, and you and I hung out. I couldn’t talk about it, though. I went to sleep and left before he woke up. I felt too…”
Too what?
“Heartsick?” Trevor suggested.
Rolling my eyes, I snorted and tried to keep my face from turning red, but I’m sure I looked like a damn tomato. “Jesus, I sound like an emo teenager.”
“No.” Trevor scooted closer, keeping my hand in his. “You sound like a man disappointed by the person he loves.”
I didn’t bother correcting him. Ryder and I hadn’t used the ‘L’ word yet. When the hell did we have time? But I was pretty sure nothing but love could make me feel this shitty.
Or as amazing as the good times made me feel.
Would I have those good times again, or were Ryder and I coming to a close? The notion made me want to scream at the top of my lungs.
“It’s okay to talk about this, Ally. You don’t need to feel embarrassed or ashamed to be struggling. Every relationship goes through rough patches. Talking can help.”
Said the man who never spoke about his own feelings and dodged every question about his thoughts and feelings. Still, he was a fantastic listener and gave thoughtful, wise advice.
With a sigh, I met my friend’s compassionate gaze. “It feels like he’s slipping away,” I whispered as I voiced my biggest fear.
Trevor wrapped his arm around my shoulders, hugging me tight. “I’m sure last night was horrible, and you have every right to be upset, so don’t take what I’m about to say as me invalidating your experience, but have you considered he might be drowning right now and last night really was an innocent mistake born of burnout?”
My huff sounded bitter to my own ears. “Of course I have,” I said as he released me, but sat close enough that our shoulders touched. “And he is drowning. He’s miserable and can’t see a way out of the dark tunnel he’s found himself in, which only makes me feel like a giant dick for getting angry.”
“You’re not a dick, Ally. You’ve found yourselves in a tough situation. Your feelings are valid, and so are Ryder’s. Neither of you asked for this job situation, but you’re here. Life has a way of throwing some enormous obstacles in our way.”
His somber expression told me he was intimately acquainted with life’s challenging side. I didn’t know much about Trevor’s past. It was his story to share when he felt ready, but the little he’d confided in me, I wouldn’t wish on anyone. His parents had died when he was five, landing him in a foster care situation from hell.
“The question now is what are you doing to do about it?”
I blinked. “What do you mean?”
“Well, the way I see it, you have two choices,” he said, holding out his palms, which were flipped up. He raised one. “You can continue as you are, watching your man struggle and your relationship swirl down the drain—”
“Thanks.” I flipped him off for good measure. So much for support and wisdom.
Trevor shook his head at me like I was a disobedient child. “Or…” he said, lifting the other palm, “… you can march your sexy ass to wherever he is right now, fuck his brains out, and refuse to leave until you come up with a plan to make both of you happy. You want the same thing, Alex, but neither of you knows how to get there right now. Maybe if you put your heads together instead of leaning into your misery, you can find a solution.”
I bit the inside of my cheek, staring at my best friend as something deep inside wanted to run away and punch something. Without realizing it, Trevor struck directly at the heart of the problem.
“What?” he asked after a solid thirty seconds of silence.
“What if we don’t want the same thing?” Putting the question into the universe made me want to puke.
His forehead wrinkled. “I don’t understand what you mean?”
Of course, he was going to make me spell out every humiliating word. I scowled, then said, “What if he doesn’t want me anymore, and he’s avoiding me? I’m not an easy person to be in a relationship with. My mom requires a lot of time and attention, my brother is toxic as fuck, and I’m…”
“Lovably grumpy?”
I grunted. “Yeah, something like that.” More like a grouchy asshole, but his term softened the impact.
I should have seen the slap coming, but I had my head too far up my ass. Trevor smacked the back of my head with surprising strength. “Ow, what the fuck was that for?” I rubbed the spot where he’d made contact.