Total pages in book: 24
Estimated words: 23821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 119(@200wpm)___ 95(@250wpm)___ 79(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 23821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 119(@200wpm)___ 95(@250wpm)___ 79(@300wpm)
“Don’t you dare hang up the phone,” I snarled, absolutely furious with him.
“Why? You just said—”
“You have been a shitty friend,” I swore, passing judgment.
“Me? If one of us has been a total prick, believe me, baby, it’s you.”
“Don’t call me ‘baby,’” I stated petulantly, feeling the anger surging up from my gut. “And you don’t even know what I’ve done!”
“You mean with your business, with Chameleon, that you never asked me to help you with? Is that what you’re talking about?”
“Help me?” I was livid, his words just fanning the flames.
“Yes, Brian, that’s what you do when you have a best friend. You call them and announce the big events in your life! You ask them to invest time and money, to help with funds to get the place off the ground! You ask them to come and be with you so you don’t go insane, because just seeing them grounds you and makes it so you can breathe.”
He lost me at the last part, and my brain shorted out. Instantly baffled, shocked out of my anger. “What?”
“Oh fuck off. Don’t play dumb. You know better, and you didn’t tell me on purpose.”
It was true. I’d been busy, yes, but I’d also made the conscious choice not to contact him. But that wasn’t the part I was confused about. “I knew better?” I repeated his words.
“Of course you did,” he sounded hurt and snide at the same time.
“You would have come to help me?”
“I would do anything for you!”
“Anything?”
“Do you doubt that?”
I did and didn’t.
“Brian?”
“That’s not fair,” I said, because there were things he wouldn’t, couldn’t, abide.
“It’s the truth and you fuckin’ know it!”
I had to think.
“When you were there—when I had you and the racing…” He sounded so wistful. “God, Brian.”
“I hate it when you say shit like that,” I exploded. “Don’t treat me like I’m this great fucking love of yours when you know that’s all I ever wanted!”
Silence.
And after a long moment, it dawned on me what I had let pour from my soul and finally escape my lips.
Dear God.
I needed to pull the words back, but it was done and they were out there and there was no turning back time. I was standing naked in public, and there wasn’t anything I could do about it.
“What?” Varro was nonplused. I’d definitely surprised him.
Oh God. “Just—”
“You love me?”
“Of course!” I seized on the chance to fix it. “You, Nico, your—”
“No. That’s crap, Brian. That’s not what you meant.”
And it wasn’t.
“If it’s true—”
“If?” I ground out. “There’s no if.”
He made a noise like he wasn’t sure. “Well, again, if that’s true, you sure have a shitty way of showing it.”
It took me a second because it was hard to listen and hope your head didn’t explode at the same time. “What?”
“You love me, but we’re apart. How does that make sense? Are you sure you know what you’re talking about?”
I hung up, because how dare he!
The year I spent on the road, I was great to him. I made sure everybody in his whole goddamn entourage loved me. I could not have been any nicer, any kinder, or any more helpful. I got messages and emails when I left, the whole we miss you and it’s not the same without you crap. I had made the trailer my home for the time I spent there, had filled it with things I knew he would want from heavy mugs to blankets to plants. How was I not the best friend ever?
My phone vibrated to let me know I had a text message.
It said simply, Who did you do that for?
The fact he knew me well enough to text not only a question, but the counterpoint to what I was thinking, was beyond maddening.
I growled as I hit the button to call him back.
“Everything I did, I did for you!”
“Bullshit! You did it for you!” he roared.
“What?” I was stunned. “Have you lost your fucking mind?”
“You did it so there’d be a big-ass fuckin’ hole in my world when you left.”
“Varro.”
“You wanted to make sure I saw it, make sure I felt it.”
“Varro.”
“That I couldn’t miss it.”
“You—” I began.
“And guess what, Brian? I already knew it would be just fuckin’ like that!”
“God, I hate you!”
“Whenever you’re not with me, I feel it.” The way his voice cracked deflated all my anger. “And you don’t hate me one bit, and that’s the problem.”
There was a long silence where neither of us said a word.
“So you don’t just love me, you’re in love with me?” Varro sounded so out of it. Not quite lost, but it was a close thing.
I was suddenly freezing, pacing up and down on the cobblestone walk. I must have looked like a lunatic to anyone walking by my house.
“Brian?”
“Can’t you just—”
“That’s what you said.” He was making sure. “That’s what you meant.”