Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 77519 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 388(@200wpm)___ 310(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77519 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 388(@200wpm)___ 310(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
Hawk had never felt this way with a woman. He felt so freaking lost, and it was like he didn’t know what to fucking do. The temptation to stay on her mother’s lawn was strong, but he held himself back and moved toward his bike, straddling the machine.
He looked back at her childhood home and knew he needed to figure out what happened. Nikki didn’t lie to him, which only meant her mother had changed. Something had happened.
Pulling away from the curb, he drove off, heading back to the clubhouse. How was he going to fix this with Nikki? He didn’t know what to do. There was no magic wand to make this work. He couldn’t, for the life of him, think of how to put them back on track. Was Nikki speaking the truth? Was he just wanting to be the one to end the relationship?
That couldn’t be right. He wasn’t that kind of guy. If Nikki wanted to end it, then fine, it was over, they were done. Only, his gut twisted at the thought of not being with her anymore.
What the fuck was that all about? It made no sense. Women were just for fun. That was all.
Nikki was not just fun.
As he headed back to the clubhouse, he pictured Nikki in his mind, the way she smiled, which always lit up her face. She had an infectious smile, and even if he didn’t feel like doing it back, just looking at her made him smile. She was so fucking beautiful, so open. The way she would laugh when he tickled her, or how she would listen to him. She never interrupted him, always waited until he was done talking.
The times he spent with her were the best moments of his life. He loved spending time with her. Loved being with her. She lit up his whole world.
And now, he had also hurt her. By lying. He hadn’t cheated on her, but it was still a lie he was caught up in, a lie he was struggling to get out of. He had fucked up.
He parked his bike, walked into the club, and grabbed a large bottle of whiskey off the shelf. The brothers knew to leave him alone, as did the women. Anyone who disturbed him was going to get shouted at. He wasn’t even going to try to hide it.
Nikki was a good thing, and he’d ruined it. What did he do? What did he say? How did he make this work?
He made his way toward his library. Collapsing into his chair, he unscrewed the top of the bottle, tilted it to his lips, and drank, hard. After several swigs, he lowered the bottle and stared straight ahead into nothingness. He thought about the first night he saw her, stepping into his library. None of the women were interested in coming into his library unless it was to fuck him, and yet this woman stumbled into his domain without a care in the world. Fucking Nikki Brown. He should have known she was going to be nothing but trouble.
“Are you okay?”
He looked over to see Sandy in the doorway. She wore a pair of jeans and a plain white shirt.
“I’m fucking ace,” he said, tilting the bottle to his lips.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No. I want to drink. That is all I want to do.”
“Would you like me to join you?”
He knew Sandy had done nothing wrong, but he didn’t want anyone to join him.
“No. I’m good.”
Sandy nodded. “Let me know if that changes.”
He watched as she turned on her heel and left his library.
****
“Pancakes?” Nikki asked.
“Yes, and scrambled eggs and bacon. Shoot, I didn’t do the maple syrup, but that used to be something I loved growing up. You have the fluffy pancakes, and because of how fluffy they are, they just soak up that maple syrup and they’re so sweet and delicious.”
Nikki sat at the counter and smiled at her mother talking animatedly about pancakes and maple syrup.
“I know I never made them for you growing up, but this is my chance to make up for it. Come on, let me, please,” Ethel said.
She laughed. “I wasn’t going to say no. I’m hungry.” That was a tiny lie. She felt sick to her stomach after last night, seeing Hawk and talking with him. She felt like throwing up, and the ice cream hadn’t helped.
After sitting with her mother for a couple of hours, she’d finally gone to bed, and she knew she had to make her way back to her trailer at some point.
“That’s good. So, I was thinking I might stop off at the butcher, grab some ground beef, and make you those meatballs I was telling you about last night. What do you think?”
“You want to cook me dinner?”
Ethel smiled. “Absolutely. I’ve got a lot to catch up on. I owe you quite a few meals. We can watch a movie, and I’ll even grab another of my favorite ice creams and I can stop off at the bakery and grab those cinnamon rolls I was telling you about.”