Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 115308 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 577(@200wpm)___ 461(@250wpm)___ 384(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115308 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 577(@200wpm)___ 461(@250wpm)___ 384(@300wpm)
Grace nudged me with her shoulder even as she clapped along with Dad. “You know the last time you acted like this over a boy was when you had a crush on Charlie!” she yelled over the cheering.
Charlie had been my high school boyfriend and my first big infatuation. I’d met him when I moved to Edinburgh to live with Dad, and we’d dated all through high school until I left for university in London. He went to Aberdeen, and I didn’t want to do the long-distance thing. Looking back on it, it was because I didn’t trust him not to fall for someone else. At the time I thought what we had was love, but if it was, it was puppy love. It wasn’t all-encompassing, passionate, can’t stop thinking about him, miss him when he wasn’t there love.
Neither was what I’d felt for Will.
I was starting to worry I was incapable of letting go long enough to feel that way about someone. If Baird was as deep in it with me as he proclaimed … well, he was the last person I wanted to hurt by not being able to fully commit.
Was that what was holding me back from going for it with him?
I leaned into Grace as the cheering died down and the game resumed. “After … can we talk? Just you and me?”
Grace’s brow furrowed with concern, but she nodded. “Of course, sweetheart.”
The noise from the impromptu garden party could be heard throughout every single room in my parents’ home. Lockie’s team won because he’d scored twice, and he wanted to invite some of the lads back to our house. Dad had agreed, and now ten kids and their families had crammed into Grace and Dad’s back garden while Dad grilled burgers and hot dogs on the rarely used barbecue.
I’d scored a cheeseburger before asking Grace to follow me upstairs.
We could hear Lockie giggling as we walked into Grace and Dad’s bedroom. I followed the sound to the window and looked out to see Dad making my wee brother laugh as they worked the grill together.
Grace sighed contentedly at my side as we watched them for a few seconds. Lockie was a miniature version of Dad. They were like two peas in a pod in more ways than one. Strangely, I was more like Grace, even though we weren’t blood related.
“I wish every day was like today,” Grace murmured, a familiar tender love in her eyes. “But then we’d never recognize how precious these moments are if life was plain sailing.”
It was that kind of perceptiveness and love that had brought me and Dad together and held us together through the turmoil of him finding out he had a surprise daughter. It was Grace’s love that helped Dad through the trauma of his imprisonment. I still remembered his nightmares and how much they scared me. How Grace seemed to be the only one who could soothe him. That was still true.
“Do you think I’ll ever love anyone the way you love Dad? The way he loves you?”
Her gaze flew to mine in surprise. “You already do. You love us that much.”
“Of course I do. I meant … romantically.”
“Oh.” Grace took my hand and led me over to the end of the bed to sit with her. “Is that what you wanted to talk about? Is it about Will? Or Baird?”
“I haven’t heard from Will.” It was true. After he showed up at my flat, I hadn’t heard from him again. “It’s a relief to have cut him out, and I don’t know what that says about me.”
“It says you didn’t love him. More than that, I think it says he didn’t make you feel good about yourself.”
See? Perceptive. “Did you know that before I broke up with him?”
Grace nibbled on her lip a little nervously.
“Grace?”
She exhaled slowly. “You’re a grown woman and so I leave you to make up your own mind about people. But did I have my doubts about Will? Yes.”
“Did Dad?”
Grace wrinkled her nose. “Well …”
“Grace!”
“Your father didn’t like him. He was only nice to him for your sake. But he thought he was pretentious and cared too much about money.”
“Why didn’t you guys tell me that?”
“Because our opinions matter to you, and as lovely as that is, we didn’t want our opinion screwing anything up for you.”
Impulsively, I pulled her into a tight hug. Grace snorted in surprise but embraced me in return. She kissed the top of my head and asked, “What’s this for?”
“For being the best parents ever.” I sighed and pulled back, revealing all my troubled thoughts in my expression.
She cupped my face tenderly. “Sweetheart, what is going on?”
I told her everything. About my friendship with Baird. My growing feelings. My worries about his mental state. Our argument when I tried to get him to talk to me. Running off to Beth. Beth who had been checking in with me every day to see how I was doing, even though I’d updated her on the ongoing saga between me and Baird. Then I revealed what Baird had told me about having real feelings for me from the start.