Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 93425 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 467(@200wpm)___ 374(@250wpm)___ 311(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93425 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 467(@200wpm)___ 374(@250wpm)___ 311(@300wpm)
She shrugged. “Okay.” Then she headed back down the hall to her room.
I knew I couldn’t be everything she needed. A girl her age needed her mother, and that was the one thing I couldn’t give her. Still, especially after what I now knew, that she sought the help of a stranger, I needed to try harder to fill that void as much as I could.
I deserved a gold star for parenting today. I’d stuck to my promise to not check my business emails or my phone and spent the entire day with Birdie. After we took the dog to the park, we brought him back home before heading for ice cream.
Later, we played Scrabble together before I cooked one of the only things I knew how to make for dinner: spaghetti and meatballs. Normally, we did takeout. It was certainly ironic that the owner of one of the best Italian restaurants in the tristate area couldn’t cook for shit.
Birdie and I ate together, then sat down and watched a movie, Matilda. I’d remembered Amanda saying that she thought Birdie might enjoy it someday. It was strange that I’d remembered that film randomly today, as if my dead wife had whispered the title in my ear as I was perusing the movie selections online. Jesus. Now I was starting to sound like my daughter.
Anyway, every time Birdie smiled or laughed at parts of the film, it both warmed me and cut like a knife. I’d debated whether to tell her that her mom had suggested the movie but ultimately didn’t want to make her sad tonight. She seemed off today overall, and I couldn’t help but think it had to do with what Sadie mentioned, that Birdie still blamed herself for Sadie’s absence. Guilt was a bastard, and when you keep it inside, it festers. It’s bad enough when it’s warranted, but in this case, it was a complete waste of my poor little girl’s time and energy.
After Birdie went to sleep that night, I lay in bed, trying to decide whether I should respond to Sadie’s email.
The problem was that I didn’t know what I wanted to say to her. A part of me was tempted to give her a piece of my mind for manipulating my daughter with trickery. But a bigger part of me knew that was bullshit. It hadn’t been her intent to hurt Birdie. It just made me angry that a stranger playing the role of something that doesn’t exist was able to make Birdie happy in a way that I couldn’t. And while Sadie’s lying was in poor taste, to me that wasn’t the issue.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep unless I responded to that damn email. So, without overthinking it, I pulled up her message and hit “Reply.”
Dear Sadie,
I appreciate you taking the time to explain everything to me. To say that I was shocked to hear the extent to which you had been interacting with my daughter—albeit from afar—is an understatement.
And while I don’t fully understand the reasoning behind your decision to let me assume you were the dog trainer, I no longer believe that you intended any malice. So let’s just forget about the latter.
The fact of the matter is, your unexplained absence has put my daughter in some kind of funk. I don’t even care whether or not the damn dog can jump over your back or whether he sits or humps a turtle. I just want to see my daughter happy. And it’s apparent that your being here, even for that brief time, made her happy, as she’d found someone she could relate to. I can’t believe I’m about to say this. In fact, I may need to get my head checked . . . but would you consider coming back a few more times to “train” Marmaduke? That way you could plan your eventual exit more gently than the one I forced upon you. We could tell Birdie that you just had to take some time off and that you’ve returned to finish the job.
I realize that perhaps the crazy has rubbed off on me a bit with this suggestion. I will certainly understand if you don’t wish to return, especially after the way I kicked you out. But hopefully, you understand why I did it, given what I was led to believe at the time. In any case, I’m sorry for being so harsh and for not allowing you a moment to explain.
Let me know if you’d be willing to take me up on my offer. I’d pay you double or triple for your time. You’d basically have to do nothing more than keep Marmaduke alive. Given that you’ve saved his life once already, I trust you can handle that. (That was my best attempt at making light of things and moving forward.)