Total pages in book: 43
Estimated words: 39540 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 198(@200wpm)___ 158(@250wpm)___ 132(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 39540 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 198(@200wpm)___ 158(@250wpm)___ 132(@300wpm)
When I finally ended the kiss and we broke apart, both of us were breathing heavily. Pippa’s cheeks were flushed. “Wow.” Her hoarse whisper was full of awe, and I wouldn’t try to pretend I didn’t puff out my chest a little.
I rested my forehead against hers. “Yeah. Wow.”
“I’ve only kissed a couple guys before, Gunnar. That wasn’t… I didn’t expect…” Pippa trailed off, looking as dazed as I felt.
“Then you’re a couple up on me. I went to prison when I was sixteen.” The second I spoke, I realized what I’d said. Heat rose to my cheeks and my gaze snapped to hers. My chin rose defiantly as I waited for her derision. She’d either scoff and call me a liar or, worse, laugh at me for being a fucking virgin in my thirties. Instead, her eyes widened and she stared into mine, searching for the truth of my statement.
Then she shook her head, a smile giving her lips a delicate curve. “If that was your first kiss, you’re a natural.” She wasn’t ridiculing me or even amused. Instead, she looked just as shell-shocked as I felt.
I brushed my fingers over her lips, then her jaw. “Ain’t had time to find a woman since I got out, so yeah.” I spoke like I was in a trance. It was quite possible I was.
“Why?” Her innocent question caught me off guard. Why? Because I’d been too focused on finding her than looking for a woman to get laid. But was that really the reason? Or was it because I’d claimed her the second I’d seen her picture? And that had been long before Knuckles had asked me to make her my old lady. That was when I realized I’d committed my life to this woman before I even met her.
I was stripped bare. There was no way to hide the raw pain and hunger inside me. Or the embarrassment. Yet, I couldn’t make myself leave her or to allow her to not choose to stay with me. The thought of parting from her couldn’t even completely form in my mind before I shut it down.
“Why? Why what?”
She reached up one small hand, trembling to give my bearded face a tentative touch, stroking gently when I didn’t stop her. I tilted my head and sighed as I soaked up her touch. “Why didn’t you find a woman after you were set free?” For some reason, I liked the way she phrased her question. It did feel like I’d been set free, and not in just the literal sense. Because I was very much afraid that kiss had been the thing to truly set me free.
So I gave her the most honest answer I had. It wasn’t something I’d thought about or even really acknowledged to myself, but the second I uttered the words, I knew they were true. “Because they wouldn’t have been you, Pippa.”
“But we’ve never met.”
“Knuckles showed me your picture. I think the one he gave me when he told me to find you was the last picture your mother sent him.” I fished it out of the pocket of my inner shirt and handed it to her. It wasn’t the one of her tied up and terrified. It was one where she was staring off into the distance with a soft smile on her face.
“I don’t understand.” She smiled up at me, obviously confused but not concerned.
“I fell in love with the woman in that picture, Pippa.” I looked at her helplessly, unable to give her anything but the strict truth. “From that moment, there was never going to be another woman for me.” I thought I might have scared her, but her grip on my shirt tightened and she clutched me closer to her.
“Gunnar…”
“Look,” I said roughly, “I need you to understand something. I may not have experience in anything to do with women, but I know what I want. And what I want is you. Not just because of my promise to Knuckles, but because I’m drawn to you in a way I can’t explain. I want to protect you, care for you. I want what my mom and dad have together, and I want it with you. But only if you want me too.”
Pippa bit her lip, looking uncertain but interested. “Maybe… What if we did that?” She picked at my shirt with one hand while still clutching one small fist in the material.
“Did what, honey?”
“You know. If we decided to be a couple. You’re right that I need rest and to get settled. Go to therapy and see if I can get medicated to the nines or something. But you’re right. There is a definite connection between us. And…” She trailed off, glancing away from me.
“What is it, honey? Don’t be afraid to tell me what you’re thinkin’ or feelin’. ‘Cause I’m shit at readin’ women.” My attempt at humor wasn’t great.