Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 81285 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81285 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Had to get to the clubhouse. Didn’t want to wake you.
I’ll call later. Coffee is made and breakfast is on the counter.
Luke
I’d hoped that I would get to talk to him before I headed to work but no such luck. I didn’t have much luck the next day or the next. It seemed he was always busy, and even when we were together, painting his living room or watching TV or even attending his brother’s funeral, he barely spoke to me.
I couldn’t really blame him.
The funeral was rough.
He had to stand there knowing he’d not only lost his brother, but he’d been a part of something that hurt the club and even killed one of their dancers. It only deepened the wound to know that his best friend was the one who’d fired the shot that ended his life. That was a lot to take in. He also had to face his father and tell him that he’d had a part to play in his son’s death.
His father didn’t blame him.
No one blamed him. Not even the brothers. But that didn’t lessen the guilt he carried like a second skin. I hoped he just needed a little time, but with each day that passed, I became more and more consumed with doubt.
We were at his place, touching up paint and finishing trim, and he’d barely said two words to me. I felt like he was pulling away from me, and I wasn’t even sure he really wanted me there.
Even though I was terrified of what his answer might be, I finally mustered the courage to ask, “Do you still like me?”
“What?”
“Do you still like me?” I repeated. “If you don’t, if your feelings have changed, you can tell me. It’ll hurt, but I’m a big girl. I can take it.”
“Yes, I still like you, Presley. That’s a bit of an understatement, but I do.” He dropped his paintbrush in the bucket and walked over to me. He placed his hands on my hips as he said, “I know I’ve been distant lately, but I’ve had a lot on my mind.”
“I know you do, and I’ve tried to be understanding. But it feels like you’re shutting me out.”
“I’m not shutting you out, Presley. At least, I’m not trying to, but I’m not so sure that you shouldn’t be trying to shut me out.”
“What are you talking about?”
“If you’d come to the Vault even a few minutes earlier, you would’ve walked into a war zone… You could’ve been killed.” He dropped his hands from my waist and lowered his head. “And I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you.”
“But I didn’t walk in when all that was going on, and I wasn’t hurt or killed. And even if I was, it wouldn’t have been your fault.” I placed my hand on his chest. “There’s no way you could’ve known any of that was going to happen. None of it is on you, Luke. You have to stop blaming yourself.”
“That’s not going to happen.” He turned and stepped away from me. “I should’ve handled Davis from the beginning. I should’ve made sure he wouldn’t come back here and pull his shit, but I let him off easy. I knew better.”
“He’s your brother. You handled it the best you could.”
He didn’t move.
He didn’t respond.
He just stood there, staring out the window. Eventually, he muttered, “You deserve better. You deserve safe… easy… effortless. You deserve what I can’t give you.”
“I never asked for easy.” I walked over and stood in front of him. “I know things won’t always be perfect, but I like what we have.”
I wasn’t naïve.
I knew things with him wouldn’t always be easy.
And they certainly wouldn’t be effortless.
His life would always be filled with danger. I would have to learn to accept that, and I was trying. I was also trying to learn to live with the worry and the secrets. It would be hard, but I loved him. I loved him more than I’d ever loved anyone, and so, I would try. I would try every day and in every way.
He deserved that.
He deserved that and more.
With that in mind, I looked up at him and whispered, “I love you.”
He stared at me for a moment, and emotion filled his eyes. I could see the wheels turning in his head, but I had no idea what he was thinking. I started to worry that I shouldn’t have said it, that maybe it was too soon, so I added, “I know it’s early and all that, but I do. I can’t help it. I love you so much, and difficult or not, I can’t imagine not having you in my life.”
The words had barely left my mouth when he reached for me. He slipped his hands around my waist and pulled me towards him as he lowered his mouth to mine, kissing me in a way that made my entire body hum.