Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 78387 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78387 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
When I get back to my grandpa’s everyone is there. I hug my mom before making my way to my grandpa. We hold each for a long time. He’s old and losing weight. I can feel his bones and he doesn’t walk, he shuffles his feet. I’m not ready for any of this. I’m not ready to lose my grandpa, my grandma Bess, or my Ben. Whoever is doing this shit to me needs to stop.
18
BEN
The next morning, I wake to the smell of French toast and a lot of laughter. Elle’s side of the bed is cold, and I try to think back to what time she came to bed. When I finally succumbed to my tiredness, she was on the couch with her sister. They were wrapped in each other’s arms and watching some movie they claimed made their eyes sweat. Elle offered to come with me, but I told her I’d be okay. Honestly, I’m feeling okay, which only reminds me I’ll feel like shit again soon when chemo restarts in a few days. I understand the aggressive approach, but it fucking sucks, and I hate that it’s just started. I’m not even close to finishing my first round. Two weeks down and more to go. More infections. More blood transfusions. More hospital stays. More of everything I don’t want.
When I get downstairs, I head into the kitchen to find everyone sitting around the table. Well, mostly everyone. Noah stands behind Peyton, Quinn stands behind Katelyn, and Liam stands behind Josie. Elle’s holding Oliver, although he’s sitting on the table, and Michael’s trying to entice him to crawl over to him. This is my family. As much as I love my mom and brother, the people surrounding this table are the ones who care for me, day in and day out. They always include me in everything. Not as an afterthought, but as a member of their lives.
“Hey, good morning.” Elle sits up a little straighter and smiles when she sees me in the doorway. I make my way toward the table and Katelyn stands.
“Sit here. I’ll get you some breakfast. Are you hungry?” Katelyn asks.
“I am, actually.” It’s been a while since I had hunger pangs. Mostly, Elle forces me to eat something. It must be the strong scent of cinnamon or something. Ever since I started chemo, my senses have misfired. Not necessarily a bad thing since Quinn is currently waving his hand in front of his face and Elle’s trying to pawn the baby off on him.
“Nope,” Quinn says. “I’m not doing it.”
“You need to get ready for when Nola has a baby.”
“I’ll hire a nanny,” he says as he backs away. Peyton stands and takes the baby, but Noah’s turning green. He wants no part of the soiled diaper either. I’d volunteer, but no. When Peyton passes me, I reach out and touch Oliver’s chubby cheek. He gives me a smile. He’s the luckiest baby in the world to end up with the Jameses.
Katelyn sets a plate down in the spot she vacated and tells me to come over. Elle slides into Peyton’s empty seat to sit next to me. “How are you this morning?”
“Actually, I feel almost normal, minus the port sticking out of my bicep.”
“Your cheeks are pink. This is a good sign. Do you have a fever?”
I shake my head. “Nope.” I add maple syrup to my breakfast and look at the jar before I set it down. “This doesn’t look store bought.”
“It’s not,” Elle says. “We picked it up while in Vermont. It’s from a cute little place called Bennett’s Tree Farm.”
“It’s cute. I like the covered bridge on the bottle.”
“How did you sleep, Ben?” Michael asks. “Is the room okay?”
“It’s perfect. I must’ve crashed hard. I don’t remember you coming to bed,” I say to Elle.
“That’s because the twins fell asleep on the couch,” Katelyn says. “When I woke, they were snuggled together and sound asleep. I don’t know how long I stood there and just watched them but seeing them like that brought back so many memories from when they were little.”
“I’m sorry for not coming up,” Elle says. She rests her hand on my leg under the table.
“It’s okay. I hope you slept well.”
She tilts her head back and forth. “Neck hurts and Peyton snores.”
“I do not,” she says loudly as she comes back into the room with Oliver. He squeals and says “mama” when he sees Katelyn. Her face lights up as if that’s the best sound she’s ever heard. If anyone is ever meant to be a mother, it’s Katelyn.
“We gotta run. I need to go back to Whimsicality.” Josie stands. “We’ll see you all for dinner.” She and Liam say their goodbyes and head out the door, and then Katelyn takes Oliver from Peyton to put him down for his morning nap. Michael says he needs one too. I know I just woke up, but a nap sounds good, especially outside on the back deck where the porch swing is. This is one of the reasons I wanted to be here instead of in Malibu. While I love where I live, there’s something about the comfort of a home that’s filled with love. Michael’s house is like this. It’s where I grew up and I love it here.