Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 97199 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 486(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97199 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 486(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
“Call me William.”
“Will do, Will.” He huffs out a laugh at his unimaginative play on words.
“William,” I correct him because if we’re going to work together until Miss Waverly falls in love with him, I need him to be on the same page as me when it comes to my name.
“Right.” He nods.
“I can top that!” Another guy’s voice booms through the coffee shop. “In the past three days, I’ve had two brunettes. One with tits the size of cantaloupes and a blonde who swallowed every last drop of my load.”
“Jesus,” I mutter as I button my gray suit jacket. “It’s not even nine a.m. yet.”
I approach the two men who can’t shut the fuck up about their sexual conquests. I don’t care if they’re real or imagined. The pressing issue is that there are too many people in this morning hotspot being forced to bear witness to their over-zealous bullshit.
“Gentlemen,” I say as I approach where they’re standing. “I’m using that term loosely.”
They laugh it off like I’m kidding.
I’m not.
“What’s up, bro?” One asks as he taps my shoulder with his hand.
I glance at the grime under his fingernails. “I’m not your bro, and you need a manicure.”
They laugh harder. The blond one in the dark blue suit doubles over.
I’m straight-faced as I go on in a lower tone, “I also need you both to shut the hell up.”
That gets their attention. The brown-haired one, who looks to be around twenty-five, eyes me up. “You’re serious?”
I cross my arms over my chest. “Very.”
“Are you not getting any?” His blond counterpart asks as he takes a step toward me. “Your pecker is lonely, isn’t it?”
I don’t want to crack a smile, but seriously…pecker?
Not wanting to subject the people in here to another second of this unrequested discussion about body parts, I give the guy a free lesson in human anatomy and vocabulary. “Never use that word again. It’s a cock, or a dick, or in the presence of your mother, if you’re facing a deadly infection in your groin area, call it a penis.”
The brown-haired one scrubs a hand over his forehead. “We all call it a pecker.”
I look behind him. “There are more of you? For the love of God, don’t let that be true.”
The shorter, blond one smirks. “Why are you bothering us? We were minding our own business until you butt in.”
I rub my jaw. “You were subjecting everyone within earshot to a discussion that should never have happened.”
“What discussion?” they ask in unison.
I inch up my left eyebrow. “Think back.”
They glance at each other before the dark-haired one smiles at his friend. “Oh, yeah. I was telling you about the randos I fucked… and you…”
“Women,” I correct him before he can add to that.
“Right, women.” The blond guy nods. “I was telling Ryan about the women I fucked, too.”
Now that we’ve established that one of these assholes is named Ryan, I feel the need to clarify who the other one is. “And you are?”
“Jason,” the blond offers. “Jason Goodman.”
He’s not living up to his surname. For a hefty price I could help him with that, but I don’t have more time to waste on these two at the moment since Percy is patiently waiting for me.
“Jason and Ryan,” I say each name slowly. “I’m inclined to believe you were both lying about what your dicks got up to this past week.”
“A cute brunette did smile at me,” Jason blurts out.
“There was a blonde at the bus stop who talked to me,” Ryan chimes in. “She told me to stop staring. That still counts, right?”
Shaking my head, I exhale harshly. “Women are wonderful. All women are exquisite and deserve to be treated as the gifts they are. So when, or if you ever do, take a woman to bed, keep your damn mouths shut about it. If a woman is willing to share herself with you, respect that.”
They stare at me.
“I’m serious,” I accentuate each syllable. “Got it?”
“Yeah.” Ryan nods.
“Got it,” Jason adds.
My hand dives into the inner pocket of my suit jacket to retrieve a business card. I place it in Ryan’s palm. “This is my tailor. Visit him, and he’ll fix that suit jacket. It looks like you stole it out of your dad’s closet.”
“I did.” He sighs. “I can’t afford a new one.”
“You’ll get a great deal on a gently worn suit and the alterations you’ll need to make it look like a million bucks if you tell him William sent you.”
“William,” he repeats my name. “Thanks, man.”
I tilt my chin down. “Spring for a manicure or a good nail brush. Women notice shit like that, and if you ever want to have sex, you need to clean yourself up.”
“I’ve had sex,” he lies.
“You haven’t,” I challenge him. “Be honest.”
“I will soon,” he alters his response. “One day soon.”