Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 88220 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88220 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
No matter how he teased me about them always being underfoot, he loved those dogs and regularly took them quietly upstairs to be with him and West at night. I continued to stare at Dash’s handsome face as I put the edge of the saltine in my mouth.
“Do you remember when we first got together again the second time, and how I refused to text you durin’ the day?” I asked between chews. “I had all my excuses ready whenever you complained. The truth was, I felt mightily inferior to you. What did I have to say to someone like you? I was a hit-in-the-head jock my whole life to that point. I didn’t think I was smart enough to hold that kind of conversation. Then the spellin’ in the text messages... It freaked me out.”
I popped another cracker in my mouth, chewing as I spoke. No sound came, the cracker absorbed all the saliva. I reached for the water bottle on the tray, unscrewing the cap with two free fingers while keeping the crackers in my fist. I took a quick swig, recapped the water bottle, and turned back to Dash.
“Do you think West will wanna play…”
Dash’s eyes opened, locking on me.
“Dash.”
His lids closed again. No. I dropped the water bottle and crackers to the ground, placing both of my hands on his chest, shaking him. “Wake up, Dash! Please.”
He lifted his eyelids once more, this time with his brows slightly furrowing. He attempted to speak, but nothing coherent issued forth.
“You’re sick. You’ve been out of it for a while. Keep restin’. I’ll be here.”
His expression remained defiant for a few long seconds before his eyelids surrendered and shut again. The tears were back as I leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “Rest. We need you well. I’ll tell everyone the good news.”
I kissed him again and reached for the nurse’s call button and my cell phone. I didn’t care about the time of night. My mom needed to know, because I needed to tell her.
I had to convince myself that I truly saw Dash open his eyes because we were fourteen hours into the day, and he hadn’t done it again. What I had previously refrained from doing, and what I was currently doing right now, was googling how often medical personnel lied to patient’s families.
I wasn’t really doing that, but I was trying to figure this out.
It seemed to me what Dash was doing was normal after being intubated. The rest of the possibilities scared the shit out of me. The list of symptoms for Legionnaires’ disease seriously hit everything Dash had gone through. Google also tagged it as a possible case of rabies.
What resonated the most was the rallying event that took place at the end of life. Could that be what was happening with Dash?
My heart ached, and once again, Dash and I were alone inside his room. Mom and Carter had stayed the day, and had currently gone for something to eat, and promised to bring me food back. What I needed was for Dash to open his eyes, if nothing more, to make sure I hadn’t dreamed him awake.
From my spot on the built-in bench close to the window, I stood up, tucking my cell into my shorts pocket, a pair Dash had bought for me along with most of my other clothes.
“Wake up, Dash,” I said. With one hand, I held onto the top of the bed. The other rested on his concave belly. I couldn’t stand the weight he’d lost while lying in this bed.
I shook him like I’d done over and over today. This time though, while alone with him, I bent in and quietly whispered in his ear, “If you’ll open your eyes for me, I’ll blow you as soon as we’re alone. You can fuck my throat like you like.”
My gaze locked on his closed eyes and nothing changed. Hmm. Dash thrived on intimacy yet tended to become vulgar when trying to persuade me that sleep was bad, and sex was good.
“Dash, you know how much I like to lick your ass. I’ll do it to you the second they remove the machines. I’ll rub your prostate while I lick you like an ice cream cone. Hell, I’ll add ice cream to our good time. It’s been a long time since we added anything edible to our sex. Please open your eyes to tell me you agree.”
He didn’t.
I tried the only other thing that Dash wanted, and I’d said a hard no to. “You win. We can have more children. As many as we can afford. I only ever said no because I didn’t want to take any experiences away from the ones we were lucky enough to have. I was wrong. Please open your eyes.”
He did. For several long moments, we gazed at one another while his fingers tried to grasp mine. I smiled as my heart flip-flopped in my chest. I lifted my hand from his belly, avoiding the tubing to gently stroke his face. “I love you.”