Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 107639 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107639 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
When he’d departed, Jamie glanced out at the water for a moment. “In yesterday’s session, Chaska asked us to consider what aligns with the person we wish to become. I’ve been thinking about that. What aligns with the person you wish to become? What would you need to be happier?”
I considered it for a minute. The alcohol—not to mention the lingering effects of my conversation with Landry—made my lips a little looser than normal.
“I’d like to find a partner and start a family,” I admitted. “But I don’t want to give up my job. It’s not about the money, and I’d give up city life in a heartbeat since I don’t really want to raise kids there anyway, but my job…” I shrugged. “Making my bosses’ lives easier aligns with both the person I am and the person I wish to become. As Chaska—and Marie Kondo—would say, it sparks joy.”
We shared a laugh, the kind that bordered on a giggle due to the sheer amount of fruity drinks we’d consumed.
“What about you?” I asked, sobering. “Do you want a family?”
Jamie’s hazel eyes crinkled at the edges as he smiled. “That’s a pickup line I’ve never heard before, Kenji.”
Heat rushed to my face again. “Not a pickup. I promise.”
He leaned forward and put his hand on my arm. “What if I’d like it to be?”
Suddenly, my relaxed good time came screeching to a halt. Jamie was an attractive, charismatic man. Blond and broad-shouldered. Wealthy, successful, and interesting. I should be excited by his interest… but instead of excitement, I felt a strange kind of discomfort.
“Oh,” I said stupidly. “Well. I mean…”
Jamie’s fingers brushed down my arm until they reached my hand where it rested on the table. “I came here to focus on myself, not hook up with people, but, as Chaska would say, ‘Desire is a natural and beautiful part of the human experience. If your heart and mind are clear, and both souls involved embrace the connection with honesty and respect, then there is no need for justification.’”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re using Chaska wisdom to pick me up?”
His teeth flashed in his tanned face as he laughed. “Is it working?”
I let out a breath. “It would. It definitely would. You’re very charming. But, ah…”
“Oh.” His smile dimmed.
I opened my mouth to say some variation of It’s not you, it’s me, but then I closed it. “It’s complicated,” I said instead, parroting Landry’s words from earlier.
“There’s someone else.”
I winced. There shouldn’t be, but… “Yeah,” I admitted.
Jamie tilted his head. “So what’s the complication? Is he a bad boy? A married boy?”
“A stupid boy,” I muttered.
When the easy rumble of his laugh assured me he wasn’t too upset at my rejection, I forced myself to lower my shoulders. Jamie leaned back and reached for his drink, swirling it with his hand until the ice cubes tinkled in the glass. “Tell me about the stupid boy. What’s he done that’s so bad?”
“God, where to begin?” I jabbed my straw into my glass and tried to assemble my thoughts. The warm, bright sunshine and the cold alcohol made it difficult. “First of all, he’s beautiful.”
Jamie blinked.
So did I. I hadn’t intended to say that.
Just how much have I had to drink?
“Sounds awful,” Jamie said mildly.
“Well, it is awful,” I said, doubling down. “He’s got these eyes that just… boom!” I thumped myself in the chest for emphasis. “And don’t even get me started on the rest of him. His mouth, his abs, his voice?” I shivered. “Ridiculous. Worse, excessive. No one should have all those things.”
“Outrageous,” Jamie murmured. “How dare he?”
“He’s wealthy, too. I’m talking more money than sense sometimes. Mostly.” I leaned forward and whispered, “The man bought me a Louis Vuitton suitcase.”
“And you… don’t like it?” he guessed.
“What? No, I love it. It’s a Louis Vuitton suitcase,” I repeated, like Jamie was being particularly dense. “The thing glides like butter. It’s fucking perfect. The absolute pinnacle of luggage. The Prince Charming of carry-ons. It’s the kind of thing I would never, ever buy myself. And now that I have one, no other luggage will ever compare. Which is why—” I jabbed my straw harder. “—he has no business giving me something like that and letting me get used to it in the first place. You see?”
Jamie wrinkled his nose. “Not entirely, I’m afraid.”
I ran a hand through my hair. “This isn’t coming out right. Just… trust me when I say, he’s a playboy, okay? He’s not about commitment.”
“Ah.” Jamie’s expression cleared. “Well, there you go. If the guy’s sleeping around when that’s not your arrangement…”
“No, it’s not like that.” I waved a hand. “Technically, we’ve been monogamous for the last three years. Not because it’s a rule.” I pointed a finger at Jamie for emphasis. “It isn’t. It’s a choice, with no expectations or promises. A choice he happens to have made repeatedly for the past three years, and so have I. But that’s all.”