Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 118693 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 593(@200wpm)___ 475(@250wpm)___ 396(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 118693 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 593(@200wpm)___ 475(@250wpm)___ 396(@300wpm)
Cries from upstairs filled the entire house.
Holy shit. That kid has some set of lungs on her.
Rolling over, I covered my left eye. “Son of a bitch.”
“I’ll get her,” Rory said as she rushed by me, jumping over my head and coming dangerously close to stepping on it.
“I’m okay! Don’t worry about me,” I called out sarcastically.
Rory rushed up the stairs. “You’re not the one screaming…she is.”
I slowly sat up. The headache instantly hitting me and making me feel sick to my stomach.
Flash appeared next to me and barked, scarring me half to death.
“I’m selling you to the black market and they’re going to make horse food out of you.”
He tilted his head and gave me a low growl.
“Yeah, fuck you too, Flash.”
He barked. “See, I can totally read your mind.”
A strange odor hit me, making me gag. Standing, I turned to see Rory holding Presley while she plugged her nose.
“You have a problem.”
I swallowed hard. “Me? I have a problem?”
The odor grew as she stepped closer. “Yep. Your niece went potty in her diaper and she needs Uncle Finn to change it.”
Oh holy hell.
Taking a step back, I held up my hands. “No. I didn’t sign up for this. You did!”
Rory
Baby talk and broken hearts
A look of pure horror washed over Finn’s face as he took a few steps back. I didn’t want to tell him, but his eye was starting to swell and turn black.
I forced myself not to gag as I held the stinky baby. “Take her. You woke her up.”
Finn’s mouth gaped open. “Me? It was that evil bastard dog that woke her up.”
“He wouldn’t have barked had he not gotten jealous we were on the floor playing.”
“Playing? Rory, we were making love… Or at least trying to.”
I shrugged and stepped closer to him, pinning him against the fireplace wall. Presley cried louder, and I had no idea what to do. I’d never changed a diaper. “You’ve changed her before. You know what to do.”
He shook his head as fear washed over his face. “No I haven’t. Not once.”
Oh. Shit.
I was pretty sure that now I was the one with a fearful look on my face. “Finn, what are we going to do? I’ve never changed a diaper. I don’t even know where they keep them!”
“The bedroom!” Finn shouted as he somehow ducked around me and ran up the stairs.
“You jerk!” I cried out. Presley was now in a full-on scream and sucking in air. I held her closer to me to comfort her, and when she stopped crying, I couldn’t help but smile.
I’ve totally got this.
“I got her to stop crying,” I stated as I made my way up the stairs. I made a mental note to learn this stuff before I ever had kids.
Walking into the nursery, I watched as Finn ran from one side of the room to the other. Finally he said, “Okay! Here are the diapers.” He held up a box of baby wipes. “I’ve seen Harmony use these when there’s been number two.”
I lifted my brows. “‘Number two’?”
He shot me a dirty look, then a shocked one. “Hey, she stopped crying.”
With a wide, confident grin, I responded, “I know. I tucked her close to me and she instantly settled.”
Finn returned my smile. “You’re a natural, Éan.”
Presley picked that minute to start crying again.
“Dang it! Let’s put her on the changing table,” I said as I carefully laid her on it. I took off her little one-piece pink pajamas and stared at the diaper.
“You just pull the tabs, Rory. Pull ’em!”
I shot him a death stare. “I’ll pull them when I’m ready. Give me a second. I need to mentally prepare myself for this.”
He held up his hands in surrender. “This is your deal. I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
“Thank you!” I replied sharply.
My hands shook and I could hardly breathe without gagging.
I took a deep breath and pulled both tabs, shifting the front of the diaper away from Presley.
Oh. Mother. Of. God.
“It’s green! Why is it green, Finn?”
When he didn’t answer, I turned to him. His face was about the same color as the baby’s poop.
“Finn! Snap out of it. I need help!”
He covered his mouth and handed me the box of wipes.
Rolling my eyes, I focused back on the diaper and its nasty green contents. At least Presley had stopped crying. Taking the diaper, I wiped down to get most of the poop off.
“Disgusting! Oh God!” Finn leaned over and started gagging. It took everything for me not to gag. Lifting Presley’s legs, I got the diaper out and handed it to Finn.
“Take this! Quick”
His face dropped. “W-what? I don’t know what to do with it!”
“Finn! Please! The trash can!”
I looked away and held my breath.
“Drop it!”
Turning, I laughed when I saw the garbage can in his hands. After I dropped the dirty diaper, I took some wipes and started to clean up Presley. Finn gagged each time he saw the green-poop-covered wipe.