Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 69836 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 349(@200wpm)___ 279(@250wpm)___ 233(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69836 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 349(@200wpm)___ 279(@250wpm)___ 233(@300wpm)
“No, I just wanted to treat you. You already did so much for me. The way you handled those cops yesterday? Wow.”
Cesar wraps his fingers around the mug of coffee and smells it, watching me so quietly my thoughts start going in circles. Is it too much? Does he think I’m being a suck-up?
The tension inside me loosens when he smiles and takes his first sip. “It’s been a while since someone praised me like this.”
Be still my heart. It’s like giving a treat to a dog that’s been kicked all its life.
I have a massive bite of my peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while with my other hand, I’m already shoveling a big spoon of peas in mayonnaise onto my plate. “I also…” I don’t know if it’s appropriate at the table. Another ex of mine, Terry, liked to fuck as much as any other guy, but didn’t like discussing sex and would get upset if I attempted to bring it up. “I never came with no hands before.”
Cesar freezes with a peeled egg halfway to his mouth, and meets my gaze. He blinks, puts it down, and wipes his hands on the towel around his hips. Fuck, he’s so handsome. I don’t deserve him.
“So… I assume you mean you enjoyed that?” he asks, as if he hadn’t eaten my ass like it was his favorite dessert. Guys like him are never shy, but he seems almost... uncertain.
He was definitely confident last night.
I smile at him, giddy that he didn’t shut me down. “Well, yeah. That was so hot. Was there something you liked most?” I ask, bump his foot with mine, then fill my mouth with the peas. It only now occurs to me he might find that combination strange, but what’s done is done.
Cesar licks his lips, resting his elbows on the table. “Do you want to have sex now?”
I sink back into my chair, unsure how to answer that despite arousal already blooming in my balls, as if his desire is my on-switch. “Do you? I mean… maybe. But I’m also really hungry? Is that okay?”
Cesar frowns. “Why would it not be okay? I just thought…. that’s why you mentioned what you enjoyed.” We both stare at each other until he stuffs the egg into his mouth. “I-uh… I liked how you looked at me,” he says. “And that we can do it whenever we feel like it.”
I beam at him, mindful of keeping my full mouth closed. He liked the way I looked at him? Throw snow at me, because I might be melting. “I just wanted to be accommodating. In case you really wanted sex and it was a dealbreaker,” I say as soon as I swallow.
He watches me intently with his eyebrows drawn, as if he wants to read my thoughts out of my skull. “It’s not. I want you to want me. What do you mean when you say ‘accommodating’?”
I get flustered when I realize how that might have sounded. “Not that I’d do it even if I don’t want to. I just…” I look up from his navel, all the way to his face. “I can’t imagine ever not wanting you. So if you wanted sex, I’d be up for it. I have quite a high sex drive, and I lived like a monk for far too long. I kind of… I’m not always good at initiating things, so I just wanna say, if you feel like it, go for it.” I barely hold back a smile when I notice him spreading his thighs a little. His eye is now darker than black. It’s a void leading straight to Hell’s Circle of Lust.
His nostrils widen as he leans in, taking in air, as if he wants to smell me. “So what you’re saying is… if I feel aroused, I should use your body to get off?”
I have to fan myself as I grin at him. He gets it. My heart beats faster, but we need to eat first. Unless of course he does decide to act on my declaration. I love that it’s up to him.
I really fucking do.
“Yes,” my voice comes out raspier than I expect. “I want to satisfy you. It turns me on. If the impossible happens and for some reason I can’t or don’t want to, I’ll just say so. Otherwise…” I wink at him and lick jelly off my top lip. “You know.”
He’s watching me like a lion getting access to live prey for the first time in years. Eggs disappear in his mouth so fast it’s almost as if he wants to get the breakfast done and bend me over.
Hot.
“I like this whole talking thing,” Cesar tells me, moving his hand across the table to settle it on top of mine.
“I ask about stuff to get to know you better. And sex is part of that, you know? I’m aware that the way we met is super weird, and the situation is highly abnormal, but we’re alive, not in jail, snowed in in this lovely cabin, and Sullivan’s dead. What’s not to like?”