Total pages in book: 113
Estimated words: 110360 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 552(@200wpm)___ 441(@250wpm)___ 368(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 110360 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 552(@200wpm)___ 441(@250wpm)___ 368(@300wpm)
I opened my mouth, closed it, and then something hot exploded across my skin.
Shit. Had I done that?
I’d spent my entire adult life resenting people who only saw me as one-dimensional. Lofton Beck—movie star.
Beginning, middle, and end. Full stop.
My job didn’t define me. I was a person made up of dimensions and facets, a whole kaleidoscope of colors. I had real thoughts. Real fears. Real flaws. I’d spent years fighting to be seen that way.
But Sarah was right.
I had put Devon on a pedestal.
And it hurt worse than anything about Levee Williams ever could, because it made me a complete and total hypocrite.
Devon was my steady. My constant in chaos. Never once showing me anything that didn’t fit neatly into this expert, competent, perfect version of him I’d decided was safe to trust. I’d given him one-dimension. Singular. No matter what I’d told myself.
I’d told him I wanted his colors.
All of them.
I’d begged for them.
But the moment he gave me something real, unpolished, complicated, and entirely human, I faltered.
Like it changed him.
Like it erased everything that had come before.
Like he wasn’t allowed to make mistakes, and when he did, it made him less.
But it didn’t.
It just made him real.
Devon had never once made me feel like I needed to be perfect for him. He had proven over and over that just being myself was more than enough. And he had done it so effortlessly, I didn’t even realize I needed to give it back to him.
“Oh God,” I croaked, scrambling off the bed. “Oh my God, I did that.”
“Hey,” Sarah said, standing up after me. “Relax. Everything’s fine.”
“No, it’s not.” I started pacing, the entire argument in the driveway slamming back into me all at once, burning straight through the haze of wine. “Oh, shit. I was awful. I told him I was slipping into Levee’s shoes.” My pulse skyrocketed, each word I’d thrown at him coming back with a serrated edge. “I told him I was a consolation prize.”
I covered my face as if I could disappear behind them.
“I told the only man who has ever truly seen me that I was a consolation prize.” My lungs seized, like there wasn’t enough air in the world to make up for that level of stupidity.
Rhion was suddenly in front of me, her hands landing on my shoulders. “Deep breath. In through your nose. Out through your mouth.”
“You don’t understand,” I choked. “He’s done everything for me. Everything. And I lost my mind on him for what? Falling in love? Right, because I’ve never done that.”
Eyes still locked on me, Rhion called, “Mira.” And then slanting her head to the door.
Through my panic, I barely noticed Mira walking out of the bedroom.
Shame consumed me. “I stayed with my ex for years after he cheated on me. Did Devon judge me for it? No, that man hugged me, and held me until even I could forget the filth of my past. I compared him to Sebastian. What is wrong with me?” My breath came too fast, too shallow, my hands pressing flat against my sternum like I could physically hold myself together. “Oh my God. This is so bad. So, so bad. I asked him who was better in bed. The rock star or the actress. I literally said those words to him.”
“Okay, so you were mad. He’ll understand,” Rhion said.
“And what if he doesn’t? What if these are finally the human parts of me that he can’t overlook. What if I’ve lost him?” My shoulders shook with a sob.
“Girl, get it together,” Brianna muttered, rising to her feet. “He didn’t jump off a roof. He’s right there.”
“Lofton,” he called, his voice carving through the room, like an arrow through water.
I spun around to find him standing in the doorway, his broad shoulders filling the space.
The muscles in his neck strained as his gaze swept over me, head to foot, searching with a warmth I didn’t deserve.
“I’m so sorry,” I blurted, the words tripping over each other as they tumbled out. “I didn’t mean it. You’re not—” My voice broke on itself. “There’s not a crack in your foundation. That was my wound, not yours, and I put it on you because I didn’t know what else to do with it and that’s not—”
“Lofton.”
“I was projecting. I was hurt, but now I realize I’ve been holding you to a standard I’ve never held myself to. That’s not fair. You’re allowed to have a past. You’re allowed to have made mistakes. I, of all people, should understand that and instead I just—”
“Lofton.”
“I’ve never felt like this before. It’s scary, Devon. And when I heard about her, I just—”
“Lofton!” he boomed, loud enough to startle me.
It also finally shut me up.
I stood there, eyes burning, holding my breath, feeling like an absolute fool.
He lifted his hand and curled his finger.