Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 114068 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 570(@200wpm)___ 456(@250wpm)___ 380(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114068 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 570(@200wpm)___ 456(@250wpm)___ 380(@300wpm)
I think maybe I’ve been lonely too.
“I’m glad I had an excuse to get the guest room together,” he continues. “Kinda depressing having empty rooms in your house.”
I swallow, taking in the room with its mismatched furniture and cute little curtains. “It’s perfect.” I swallow again. And again. “Sometimes I wonder—I know we’re doing the right thing, chasing our dreams. I’m just not sure that it’s enough. Like, maybe the dream is incomplete, you know? Because my career is taking off, and that feels really, really great, don’t get me wrong. But there’s a loneliness that comes with being so focused on one thing.” My eyes burn. I blink and look at the floor. “I keep coming back to your idea that there’s gotta be more to the day than just being productive. Like, what are we waiting for, an invitation from God or whoever to finally enjoy life? To enjoy each other’s company rather than sit in front of our laptops all damn day?”
Duke’s voice is different when he replies, “I feel that. Just swap out the laptop part for a horse.”
I laugh, meeting his eyes. “Sorry. Getting way off topic here—”
“I love it when you get off topic. Picking your brain is fun. And enlightening.”
I have to look away again. “I’d say I like picking yours too, but it’s always in the gutter, so…”
“So?” His voice is teasing now.
A familiar lick of heat moves through my skin. I don’t know how I can be horribly sick one minute and turned on the next, but that’s pregnancy for you.
“So we’re on for dinner, I guess.”
One side of his mouth kicks up. “Sounds good.”
“Thank you. For asking Patsy to make pasta. And for this.” I motion to the room. “I’m feeling the love.”
Duke taps the doorframe on his way out. “That’s the point, Blue. Take your time unpacking. I’ll be in the kitchen.”
God, he’s good.
So good that I wanna be good to him too. Yes, life is an absolute disaster right now. Yes, we have a monumental decision to make after a series of horrible mistakes. But somehow, throughout it all, Duke has made me feel so much less lost and lonely than I did before that fateful trip to Aspen.
I feel like I’m starting to get a sense of clarity about life because of him. Or maybe it’s the pregnancy, I don’t know. Either way, I wanna show him the love.
I also wanna run. But I’m trying my damnedest to ignore that feeling—that sense of fear—and lean into being good to Duke the way he’s been good to me.
Closing the door, I grab my phone and shoot Mollie a text.
WHEELER: We should seriously think about doing a men’s collection now that we have momentum. Came up with some cool ideas I’ll share.
MOLLIE: Interesting you send me this text after you and Duke spent some time together [side eye emoji]
WHEELER: No comment.
WHEELER: But he has been wonderful
WHEELER: Haines says he’ll take Duke if I don’t want him
MOLLIE: My sweet angel baby, you want him. You just have to let yourself have him.
WHEELER: Easier said than done.
MOLLIE: That’s why I’m here [purple devil emoji]
CHAPTER 21
Patterns
Duke
“You’re awful chipper this morning.” Ryder unhooks his horse from the crossties. “Any reason in particular you’re Mr. Fucking Rogers today?”
I hadn’t realized I was whistling until…well, right now.
The tune dies on my lips. That’s when I realize the base of my skull is buzzing. Jesus, even my Ryder radar can’t break through my good mood today.
My brother screws up his face. “Is that—Lord, it’s the Jonas Brothers, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know who that is.”
“Yes, you do. Mr. Rogers would be appalled.” Ryder grins. “Boy, you got it bad.”
“Shut up.” I climb into the saddle and take the reins. Much as I loved being away for a bit, it’s nice to be back. “I told you, Wheeler and I aren’t together. She’s just staying with me so I can keep an eye on her. Make sure she’s okay. Morning sickness has hit her pretty hard.”
“So she stayed in her bed, and you—”
“Stayed in mine, yes.” Although it near about killed me. Knowing Wheeler was right there on the other side of the hall had me seriously considering all kinds of stupid shit.
Sucks to be a gentleman sometimes.
“And y’all didn’t have, like, any kind of shared shower situation or—”
“Remember that time in sixth grade when I punched you in the mouth?”
Ryder grins, and we head outside into the gray dawn. “How could I forget?”
“Let’s not have a repeat today, all right?”
“All right, all right.”
We’re quiet as we head for the southwest pasture, where we’re going to meet John B to check on some calves. Mollie has an early doctor’s appointment this morning, so Cash is sleeping in and going with her. He’ll be at the ranch office a little before lunch. Wyatt and Sawyer drove over to the Rivers side of the ranch, where they’re overseeing the installation of some new irrigation.