Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 105748 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 529(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105748 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 529(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
“Aye. I should. But, see, I woke up thinking I would wake up to you, and for the second time in a week, you weren’t there. You skulked out and sent me a breakup text like a fourteen-year-old.”
That familiar panic was rising, tightening my chest like a vise. “What do you want from me, Quinn?” I gasped. “I told you before I couldn’t promise you that sex would lead to anything serious.”
“Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me and I’ll walk away.”
“I don’t love you!”
“I don’t believe you!”
I threw my hands up. “Well, there’s nothing more I can say.”
“I said, look me in the eye and say it. You looked away when you said it.”
Damn him.
Letting out a scream between gritted teeth, I spun away from him, staring up at the lighthouse.
“Why can’t you let go of the past, Taran?” His voice sounded nearer now. Pleading. Desperate. “The only way you’ll ever know what I know—that I will never, ever break your heart or leave you again—is if you give us a chance!”
I whirled around, the panic exploding out of me. “You can break my heart, Quinn! You can leave me!”
“I won’t. Taran—”
“You could die!” The truth released from me in a harsh sob. “You could die, Quinn. You can’t promise me that won’t happen.” I banded my arms around my waist, trying to squeeze all the grief back inside, but it wracked through me uncontrollably. “I-I can’t g-go through it again. I ca-can’t lose you like I l-lost her.”
I couldn’t see his expression through my tears, but suddenly I was in Quinn’s tight embrace, his hand clutching the back of my head, pressing my face to his throat.
“Mo luaidh.” His voice was gruff in my ear. “Mo luaidh, no one can promise you that. You’re still grieving your mum. The truth is you probably always will.” He kissed my temple as I tried to calm my tears. “But you can’t live your life in fear of losing the people you love. Because what’s the point in life without love, Taran? I love you.” He pulled me impossibly closer. “I can’t be happy without you, and I would risk losing you a thousand times over if it meant having just the smallest chance at forever with you.”
That only made me cry harder, clinging onto him for dear life. Like he was a life raft.
And maybe he was.
“I love you so much, Quinn,” I whispered brokenly. “I love you so much that I’m scared to death.”
“Do you not think it scares me too? To love you as much as I do? But I can’t walk away from you. Be brave with me, Taran. Be brave with me. Please. Please.”
I wanted to be brave. Mum would be brave. I could almost hear her telling me that she’d give up everything for one more day with my dad.
If I pushed Quinn away now, something in me knew that he’d walk away for good. He would refuse to keep putting himself through this emotional torture. Especially for Heather and Angus. If I didn’t find some courage now, I would lose him forever.
The fear of that shook me to my core.
Be brave, sweetheart. Mum’s beautiful face flashed in my mind.
Okay, Mum.
I pulled back, meeting Quinn’s eyes. They were bright with tears. “I want to be brave with you, Quinn.”
“Yes.” He pressed desperately. “Taran …”
“I’ll be brave with you. Let’s … let’s try again.”
He bent his head, kissing me with all the relief and longing he felt. The salty taste of my tears only made him kiss me deeper. I wrapped my arms around his neck and sank into him, body and soul.
For years I’d been terrified of this. Fearful of the light that Quinn had brought into my life … because there was nothing but shadows when it went away.
His love was like a drifting dawn I’d been afraid to anchor to so it could transform into sunrise.
But I didn’t want to be afraid anymore.
The light was worth battling the fear.
44. Quinn
The charity shop construction was causing a bit of a ruckus on Main Street. People kept trying to get too close to it, and we were constantly waving them back while my team put the framework together.
Ramsay had a good mind for engineering, so he was directing the team using the plans the kit-build maker had sent over on how to piece the building together.
It had been almost two weeks since the night of the storm that had changed everything between me and Taran. We were together now, which brought me no small amount of contentment mixed with an excitement I hadn’t felt since I was a teenager. There had been no public declarations, though our friends knew we were in a relationship, and the rest of Leth Sholas were catching on quickly enough.