Total pages in book: 157
Estimated words: 161899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 809(@200wpm)___ 648(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 161899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 809(@200wpm)___ 648(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
“I am happy,” I asserted.
No one had anything to say to that.
I pushed it.
“You don’t have to have a man to be happy.”
“No. You don’t,” Lottie agreed. “But do you want Juno to be an only child?”
Shit.
I didn’t.
I loved babies.
And I loved kids.
Every age Juno was, was my favorite age.
Kids rocked.
And true, my relationships with my brother and sister had not turned out great, as they had gone on in their lives to do things I wasn’t at one with.
But when we were growing up, there was love. I was tighter with my brother, but my sister and I had our moments.
A lot of them.
Juno was getting older, but a sister is a sister, no matter the age.
I wanted her to have that.
“Do you want to be a dancer all your life?” Hattie asked, cutting into my thoughts.
No, I didn’t.
As noted, I wanted to open a meditation/yoga studio.
“I can move on from dancing myself,” I stated.
“You can, I’m just pointing out that maybe you have to think on things, Pez. Are you happy? Are you really happy? I mean, anyone can be happy. And I believe you’re happy. But why not reach out for something and be happier,” she urged.
Happier.
Auggie was loyal to his buds.
What would it feel like to have a man loyal to me?
He was funny.
What would it feel like to have more laughter in my life? In my home? Giving that to my daughter?
Work was not all to him. On any given group occasion, from the important ones, like standing up for Mo at his wedding to Lottie, to Mag grilling pizza, he was always there.
What would it be like to have a man who understood the important things in life were not even close to being about how much money you made?
Not to mention, I might melt into a puddle on my crocheted cushion if I thought about what Auggie could do if he had time and an alternate, more comfortable location, considering how well he did when he fucked me hot and quick against a wall.
And my baby girl wanted him for me.
“I’ll call him tonight,” I mumbled.
“What did you say?” Evie asked.
I cleared my throat and looked across my four girls.
And louder, repeated, “I’ll call him tonight. He asked to get a bite to eat after the meeting about the Thanksgiving show at the school is over. I’ll say yes.”
“Oh. My. God,” Ryn said, smiling broadly.
Hattie jumped to her feet then jumped on her feet, her dark, curly hair bouncing, all while she clapped and shouted, “Yay!”
Evie reached across and gave Lottie a high five.
I should be freaked out.
I should be scared.
But I couldn’t stop the twitching of my lips becoming a grin at seeing how happy they all were.
Happy about me taking a shot at love.
Ryn tugged Hattie down as Lottie focused on me.
“Okay, that’s done, and I could try to find the words that describe how thrilled out of my goddamn mind I am that it is, but I can’t so I won’t try. Now, what are you gonna do about your mom, your sister and your brother?”
Right.
Of course.
The scary part done, onward to the other scary parts.
“I don’t know about Birch,” I admitted. “Maybe leaving that alone might be a good idea. However, I need to think on that. Because Juno has cousins, and I have nieces or nephews. And that’s a big thing to turn my back on along with Birch, especially also keeping Juno from it. But regarding my mom and mostly my sister, I have a plan.”
When I hesitated, they all leaned slightly toward me.
And I knew, whatever my plan, they were either in, or they were in for the long haul to discuss it, modify it, refine it and then participate in it.
God, I loved these chicks.
I felt lighter inside.
The heaven energy was flowing for me that day.
Being supported.
Unrestricted.
Mighty.
I was going to take a chance with Auggie.
And suddenly, I felt the fear and trepidation leak away.
I felt buoyant.
Bubbly.
Excited.
I felt…
God, I felt like I used to feel, back in the day, before Corbin, before even Juno, when I was free of my family and out on my own.
Like the world was full of possibility.
All I had to do was reach out and grab it.
* * *
Hours later (many of them), when it was late enough pretty much anyone, including Auggie, would be off work, I was again pacing.
This time with my phone in my hand.
Office zone, kitchen, office zone, living room, office zone…
On about trip seven, I stopped midway to the kitchen when a memory flashed of not too long ago, when the girls were giving me guff about not going out with Auggie, and Ryn had called me chicken.
“Oh my God, I’m totally chicken,” I breathed in horror.
I then lifted my phone and engaged it.
“I am no chicken,” I said to it. “I am mighty.”