Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 77293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 386(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 386(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
“You…you still want touch me after what I just told you?”
I could barely believe it. For so many years I had lived like a pariah among my own people. I was inextricably linked to my Drake’s murderous actions—everyone assumed that I could have controlled him, could have stopped the murders he committed—and that I hadn’t out of spite and evil. No one in the Sky Lands wanted to come anywhere near me. And now Avery was offering me a hug. I could scarcely believe it.
“Yes,” he said, nodding. “I do want to touch you. I want to hug you—because I think you need it.”
Did I need a hug? It had been so long since anyone had touched me voluntarily, it was hard to say. But I knew that I wanted to be closer to Avery—that I felt drawn to him in ways that made no sense to me.
“Yes,” I said hoarsely. “Yes, I will…take a hug.”
He moved to sit beside me on my bed and put an arm around me. After a moment I turned to him and…very tentatively…put my own arm around him. Then Avery pulled me close and I found I was pressing my face to his shoulder as he held me.
There was, as he said, nothing sexual about it. But he touched me as no one—not even my mother or father—had in years. He stroked my back and shoulders as though I was worthy of such caring…such kindness. He didn’t shy from my touch like I was some unclean thing—a vessel for a murderous demon, who must be avoided at all costs. He held me to him as though he didn’t even see the sins that had tainted my existence for so long.
“Saint,” he murmured in my ear. “It must have been so hard for you. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s like living with a madman inside me,” I told him, my voice coming out low and rough. My eyes stung and the lump in my throat was so big it was hard to talk. “I can never tell what he will do next and I…I am not always strong enough to control him,” I admitted.
“I could tell you were doing your best to keep him from coming out all the way today in gym class,” Avery remarked. He was still rubbing my shoulders and back soothingly and I found that I liked his touch and his arms around me—liked it a lot. He was so warm and he smelled so good—like warm skin and clean clothes and kindness, I thought.
“I couldn’t have done it without your help,” I told him. “When you touched my cheek and talked to him…” I lifted my head to look at him. “He responds to you, Avery. In a way he has never responded to anyone else.”
“Well, I’m glad I could help you,” he said, sitting up a little and giving me a final pat on the back. It seemed our hug was over, though I wished that it wasn’t.
“I’m sorry I caused such a scene,” I told him. “I would have taken on Gonzales myself but my Drake wouldn’t let me—he wanted to come out and deal with him. Especially after he saw your wounds.”
I nodded at the bruised and swollen side of his face.
“Oh, this?” Avery shrugged and gave a self-deprecating little laugh. “Please, I’ve had worse than this—you think I haven’t dealt with homophobic Neanderthals before? Because I have, all my life. I told you, I’ve known I was a, er, ‘man-lover’ since I was six or seven. And the other boys were not very forgiving.”
“Couldn’t you hide it?” I asked, lifting my eyebrows. After all, his orientation wasn’t like my Drake, bursting out at the most inopportune times and places and doing things that were beyond my control.
Avery gave me a level look.
“I shouldn’t have to hide it, Saint. This is who I am. This is me—and I refuse to apologize for it.”
I looked at him with admiration. We were both different to the rest of the world—we both had a secret inside us. But Avery wore his with pride, while my cursed Drake was a constant source of shame to me.
“You’re very brave,” I told him. “In the Sky Lands, we are taught that lovers of men are weak and faint of heart. But I think you are one of the most courageous people I’ve ever met.”
“Well, thank you, roomie.” He smiled at me—an expression that lit up his whole face and made him more than handsome—which he already was. It made him…well, it made him very attractive, though I didn’t really understand why. For some reason I kept looking at his lips, which looked very soft. Very…kissable.
Not that I would ever kiss them, I told myself hastily. But the strange thought did give me an idea.
“Avery,” I said slowly. “There is one upside to my curse. At least, I have been told there is.”