Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 43536 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 218(@200wpm)___ 174(@250wpm)___ 145(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 43536 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 218(@200wpm)___ 174(@250wpm)___ 145(@300wpm)
“Shit, she’s crying,” I heard Leo say.
The mattress gave under the weight of someone sitting down. I knew it was Rafe pulling me up into his arms. I clung to him, crying. Leo joined us, rubbing my back and stroking my hair soothingly.
“We’re right here, Lexi. Nothing’s going to happen to you. You’re with us now. Nobody’s gonna lay a hand on you,” he said into my hair.
“He’s right. We’ve got you. You’re okay. Here, let me take that jacket off you,” Leo said. I unzipped it myself and he helped me pull it off.
“Motherfucker,” Rafe said, when he saw the bruises on my throat, the ones on my arms as well.
He touched my neck with his fingertips so lightly, but I still shuddered. He leaned close to inspect the marks. I felt myself shaking. Then I felt his lips, soft against my skin, brushing the bruises, leaving the faintest trace of wetness on my throat. I felt a bright jolt of pleasure followed by a tidal wave of guilt. He’d kissed my neck the way you’d kiss someone’s scraped knee or bruised elbow, and I got some kind of sexual charge out of it. It had sent a wave of warmth rolling down my belly. My nipples tightened, my teeth going into my bottom lip.
Leo dropped my jacket, his hands stroking my upper arms where I was bruised. He sat behind me, drew me back against his chest and held me. I rested against him, trying to calm myself from the touch of Rafe’s mouth on my skin. I was privately disturbed that I wanted him. I wanted Rafe, wanted to be in his big bed with him, stripped bare and welcoming his hands and his mouth on every inch of me.
Then Leo took my hand between both of his, matching up our fingers and aligning our palms, his hands bigger than mine. I could shut my eyes and imagine his hands all over me, those big hands moving down over my stomach and sliding beneath the waistband of my shorts. I shook myself. I was having dirty thoughts about my friends, my best friends, who were trying to protect me and take care of me. I was awful for even thinking of such things. I shouldn’t want them, shouldn’t crave that kind of connection with them.
Rafe and Leo were like brothers to one another almost, lifelong friends. I would never do anything to come between them, to hurt either of them. I resolved to stop thinking of either of them that way, to resist any stray impulse I felt toward the guys. I was grateful to them. It wouldn’t be more than that. If my body tried to respond, I’d shut it down without mercy. I’d think anything to get my mind back on solid ground.
But, God, it just felt so good to be held and touched. I wasn’t used to any kind of affection. My body wasn’t wired to understand nurturing and fondness, and I had to teach it to calm down, to be friends with no benefits.
“You could move in here,” Rafe’s voice startled me out of my reverie.
“You totally could. We’ve got room. And you wouldn’t be alone. You’d be with us, and you wouldn’t have to stare at the door,” Leo said.
I gaped at them. I couldn’t quite compute what they were saying. I didn’t need a babysitter, and I had a place of my own. I had even put in a new deadbolt without any help. I was perfectly able to take care of myself. I tried to put it into words.
“I know you’ve only known me for a few weeks, but Rafe here has been your self-defense teacher for what, a month and a half? And you’ve spent a lot of time with him. You know he’s safe, and even though you might be a little nervous about the temptation of living in close quarters with me, knowing how I look and that you might run into me in nothing but a towel after my shower, I assure you, any impure thoughts you might have about me are entirely normal and forgivable,” Leo said, trying to put me at ease.
I just stared at him and tried really hard not to laugh. I knew he was joking. I also knew that what they were offering made sense for the time being. Even in the short time I’d known them, I had come to rely on their friendship. I was really comfortable with both of them, and I’d spent time hanging out at their place enough to know that they were exactly what they seemed—best friends who shared the rent and the refrigerator and liked hanging out together. I trusted them completely. That wasn’t an issue at all. Agreeing to depend on them, to let them take care of me was the problem.