Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 43536 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 218(@200wpm)___ 174(@250wpm)___ 145(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 43536 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 218(@200wpm)___ 174(@250wpm)___ 145(@300wpm)
For the past few weeks, we’d spent a lot of time together. I found myself looking forward to seeing them after work, dropping by the gym or going over to their house. I even fell asleep on their sectional once and slept over. I woke up with a hoodie thrown over me in place of a blanket, because it wasn’t like two guys had a lot of decorative throw blankets lying around the house. The truth was it had been the best night’s sleep in as long as I could remember because I hadn’t been alone. I hadn’t propped a chair under the doorknob or stuffed my trash bag of belongings under the bed where I could reach them if I needed to leave in a hurry. I knew when I woke in the night, not in my apartment but in Rafe and Leo’s living room, that I was secure. I was staying with a jacked personal trainer and a fireman, and I was safe as houses.
When I had to speak with Mr. Watts again, I had steeled myself for more confrontation. I’d run through all the verbal de-escalation skills Rafe taught me, planned to prepare an escape strategy and know all the exits. I even had Leo help me with a few practice drills—I made him grab my wrist, grab my arm, grab my purse to see if I remembered how to get away. I hadn’t asked Rafe because I didn’t want him to know I was worried, but Leo was too careful with me, gingerly taking my arm as if he was afraid to hurt me.
“You know Rafe leaves a bruise sometimes when we do this in class,” I said.
“What you guys do behind closed doors is none of my business,” Leo had quipped.
“It’s not like that,” I said. “We’re friends. All three of us. I’m not sleeping with Rafe. I thought you knew that.”
I felt myself blush. It wasn’t like I hadn’t thought about it. I had fantasized about Rafe, and about Leo, too. Even though I hated myself for it. They were both gorgeous, and they made me feel safe and cared for. I would never have done anything to come between them, and I had to keep my crushes to myself. But the last thing I wanted was for Leo to think Rafe and I were hooking up and feel jealous.
“I know that. I’m just giving you shit, same as I do with him. Relax, girl,” he said.
I laughed, feeling relieved.
“You know, I’ve talked to Watts on the phone a couple times. I even set up a visit for him and his daughter, but he didn’t show up. The point was I have nothing to be afraid of. On the phone he didn’t repeat the threats, I just have to do a walk through at the trailer and ask if he’s attending the parenting classes. I mean, the instructor said he hasn’t been there, but I have to ask him anyway. He’s part of my caseload.”
“It sounds like you’re trying to reassure yourself, not me. Come here,” he said.
Leo opened his arms. I hesitated for a second, felt color bloom in my face. Then I went into his arms and let him hold me. Just for a minute. Just because it was an indulgence I could allow myself. It didn’t mean I was weak and helpless. It just meant that I had a friend who was really kind to me. And maybe he didn’t realize that the coiled strength I felt in his wiry body made my heart thump faster, made a wave of heat roll through me. I wrapped my arms around his back and shut my eyes. I could have this, even just for a second. I could pretend it was real, could pretend it was more than just friendship and fondness. I shut my eyes and imagined for an instant that I knew him inside out, that I knew how to touch his neck in the way that would make him groan and give in and put his mouth on mine. That he’d let me be with him, that I could be with Rafe, too. That somewhere there existed a fantasy world where I could love two men without hurting anyone or making anyone jealous or being called the thousand bad names there were for women who loved like that. Maybe a little sob shook my shoulders, and maybe Leo hugged me tighter.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to go back there. Just tell them it’s too much of a risk and refuse. They’d have to send someone else.”
I stepped back from him, out of his arms.
“No, they’d fire me for insubordination. I can’t. I know you don’t understand. Because what you’re saying makes sense. Anyone with half a brain wouldn’t go back there. But there’s a little girl involved, a little girl who needs her dad to be okay. I have to convince him to do what has to be done so he can get her back.”