Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 107965 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 540(@200wpm)___ 432(@250wpm)___ 360(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107965 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 540(@200wpm)___ 432(@250wpm)___ 360(@300wpm)
I didn’t even answer him. I was too busy running to Brock.
“Oh my God!” I threw my arms around him. “Thank God you’re okay!”
He held me so tightly, it was difficult to breathe. When he pulled back, he cupped both my cheeks and drew me in for a kiss. “Fuck doing the right thing,” he grumbled. “Life’s too short, Red. Today was a reminder. Unless you tell me to back off, I won’t be pretending I can handle you not being in my life. I’m too damn in love with you.”
My chest felt full. “I’m in love with you, too.”
***
The following morning, I sat in my hotel room, staring down at my phone. Brock and Patrick had stayed overnight in the hospital for observation—something Brock was not happy about. But he’d hit the airbag hard enough that he had two black eyes and a broken clavicle, so staying for eighteen hours and having a follow-up head scan seemed like the safe thing to do. His brothers and I reminded him that it was best for both him and Patrick, so he really couldn’t say no, though I suspected that was exactly what he would’ve done if the baby wasn’t involved.
I hadn’t slept well last night, too busy tossing and turning, trying to figure out what to do with my life. This morning, I still didn’t have any answers, but I’d done enough soul searching to figure out part of the problem. I had unresolved issues that had nothing to do with Brock. So I took a deep breath, scrolled through my contacts, and pressed call when I got to Dad.
The phone rang once, twice, and I felt more and more panicked. I wanted nothing more than to hang up, but my desire to figure things out with Brock was stronger than my need to run away. I thought I was about to get a reprieve when the fourth ring came, but then my dad’s voice came on the line.
“February?”
“Yeah, uh, hi, Dad.”
“This is a nice surprise.” He paused. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes. Well, pretty much.”
“Are you home or at the office?”
“I’m actually up in Meadowbrook, visiting Brock.”
The last time I’d spoken to my dad, I’d told him I’d started seeing someone. He didn’t know about Patrick or anything else that had gone down recently, and this was definitely not the time to fill him in.
“Oh? Things between you two getting serious then?”
I didn’t have to ponder that answer. Things between Brock and me had been serious from almost the first day we met, whether I wanted to admit it or not. “Yeah, they are.”
“That’s good. I’m happy if you’re—”
I interrupted him. “I need to ask you something, Dad.”
“Anything.”
“Do you have regrets in life?”
“About hurting you, definitely.”
“No, that’s not what I meant. Do you have regrets about cheating on Mom? For leaving her?”
“I didn’t leave your mom. She asked me to leave.”
“That’s semantics.”
“Maybe. But it’s an important distinction. Because if your mom could’ve forgiven me for being a terrible husband, I would never have left. She’s the love of my life, and that’s never changed—divorce and all.”
I felt a lump in my throat and swallowed. “Yet you cheated on her and hurt her anyway.”
The line went quiet for a long time. “I did a lot of things I’m not proud of, February. And over the years, I’ve asked myself many times why I would do such a stupid thing.”
“And…”
“I think I acted that way because I was immature and had low self-esteem. Feeling wanted by someone who wasn’t my wife made me feel like a man.” He blew a breath into the phone. “That’s embarrassing to say, but it’s the truth.”
“Okay…”
“Do you have any other questions?” Dad asked.
“I don’t think so.”
“Do you mind if I ask you one, then?”
“I don’t know. I guess it depends on what it is.”
“What prompted this call today? Are you afraid this new guy is going to cheat?”
I sighed. “No. I think I’m just afraid of getting hurt again. The two men I counted on most left me.”
My father’s voice cracked. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, sweetheart. I wish you could find a way to forgive me. Not because I deserve it, but because you deserve to not let the hurt control your decisions anymore.”
***
A day after Brock and Patrick were discharged, I notified work that I had a family emergency and would be out of the office for at least the next week.
The christening had rightfully been postponed, and I wanted these next few days to be restful for all of us.
The realization of what he’d been through in the past forty-eight hours seemed to hit Brock in waves. Even though he and the baby had managed to escape the accident almost unscathed, I’d noticed him deep in thought a lot since we returned home and could only imagine the fear in his head about what could’ve happened.