Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 72519 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 363(@200wpm)___ 290(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72519 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 363(@200wpm)___ 290(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
Tog grabbed a wing and shoved it into his mouth. He thought about Luke’s problem while slowly sucking all the meat from the bones. As soon as the bones were clean and he’d swallowed the very spicy meat, he’d come to a decision.
First, Azroth needed to tell the crows he’d sent to follow Luke to back off. The little human didn’t need people saying mean things about him. The crows needed to learn to work in secret.
And second…
“I will bring you the heads of your enemies,” Tog declared.
Yes, this was an excellent offer. Luke was one of them now. He lived in their home. He provided Tog with excellent food, and he enjoyed horror movies. How could he not want to properly support this funny small human?
Luke snorted. “Man, isn’t that tempting?”
“I am serious. We can put them on spikes. Or we can hang them in your room as trophies. They would be the first heads in your collection, right?” Yes, Tog liked the idea of being the one to give Luke his very first head in what would one day be an impressive collection. It was a great honor for him.
The human chortled and held his stomach. “Yeah, they would. But I don’t know how to keep heads from rotting. So, let’s not this time.”
Tog sighed. “Are you sure? It wouldn’t be any trouble.”
Luke reached across and patted Tog on the shoulder. “You know, the offer was more than enough to lift my spirits. Thanks anyway.”
The demon grabbed another slice of pizza and slowly ate it. He would obey Luke’s wishes and not take their heads.
But maybe he would give them explosive diarrhea as well. Yes, he would need to think about this.
Chapter 8
Tuk’s Master Plan
BATH’TUK
The grandfather clock in the second-floor hallway chimed twice, announcing that it was now two in the morning. Luke should be dragging his tired, skinny body into the house any moment now.
This was Bath’tuk’s last chance to go through his mental checklist prior to his target arriving.
All the other demons in the house were in rooms on the first floor or in the basement. He’d claimed the entire floor to create his Hallway of Doom®.
It all started with his room, where there was a nine-foot-tall werewolf ready to chase Luke down the hall. Tuk couldn’t believe his luck! His night to scare Luke had fallen on a full moon. He hurried to his room and peeked in to find the enormous wolf sitting on the floor, scratching at fleas behind his ear and chewing on his ass.
“Craig! You said you were ready!” Tuk cried.
The werewolf bolted to his feet, bloodshot eyes wide. “I’m ready! I’m ready! Is he here? I’m ready!”
“He’ll be here any second! No fucking around!”
Tuk slammed the door shut and moved along the hall to Mag’s room, where he’d rounded up a small horde of zombies. He peeked inside to see the poor creatures shambling about, knocking into the walls. Their soft moans were at least off-putting.
“You guys ready?” he inquired.
One of the zombies turned toward him and lifted a hand. It looked as if he were trying to give him a thumbs-up. Only his thumb fell off and rolled across the floor. The other zombies stumbled after the errant digit.
Tuk rolled his one eye and closed the door. So what if they were falling apart? As long as they held together to scare Luke, it didn’t matter if they were missing some bits.
He peeked inside Azroth’s room and let out a loud sigh. The two vampires he’d hired were playing chess.
“The knight doesn’t move like that. It’s two up and one over.”
“No, it’s not. It’s one up and two over.”
“You’re wrong.”
“Are you trying to tell me I’ve been playing chess wrong for two hundred years?”
“That’s how it looks to me, because you can’t move a knight that way.”
“Hey!” Tuk snapped, halting their bickering. Two sets of blood-red eyes shifted to him, their expressions indifferent and maybe even a bit bored. “Can’t you be a little scarier? Azroth recommended you because you’re scary.”
“You also said we’re not allowed to bite him,” the icy blond replied. “You get what you pay for.”
Tuk slammed the door shut and stopped in the middle of the hall, sucking in a calming breath. Maybe he could steer Luke away from the vampires because they were appearing to be a clear miss. But the werewolf and zombies were still good. So were some of the other surprises he had planned for Luke, like the swirling vortex of nightmares, the nest of pythons, and that one random guy he’d found in the woods with a chainsaw.
He figured that this was where his companions had gone wrong. Mullmag, Annod, and Tog had gone in for one big scare. If that didn’t work, they were out of options. Luke was proving to be much harder to scare. What they needed was an endless gauntlet of terrors that would leave Luke curled up in the fetal position and crying.