Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 73010 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73010 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
He stares wistfully into the distance. “Nearly sixty years.”
I can’t even imagine. Or maybe I can. They seemed so in love as they doted on each other. “What do you think the secret to a good marriage is?”
Why am I doing this to myself? So I can hear all the ways I failed?
“Let me see…” He hums as he thinks it through. “To allow each other the space to grow, separately and together. Being married that long means you’ve both evolved into many different versions of yourselves. You’ll grieve who they were a million times over, but the key is to embrace who they’ve become.”
I blink in shock at how profound that is.
Before I can unpack it all, he continues. “But also to laugh together and communicate your feelings. To stay connected not only emotionally, but physically too. I miss just holding her hand.”
My chest aches. Fuck me, I obviously shouldn’t have asked.
“That’s…thank you for sharing that with me. I can see why you miss her.” I stand abruptly. “Well, I’ve got to go put away my groceries.”
“All is not lost,” he says with a pointed look. “Life is full of beautiful and heartbreaking moments. They can divide you, make you resentful. But real love is eternal. It keeps you rooted even when you’re split apart.”
All I can do is nod numbly, realizing he knows exactly who I am.
What is this? Inspirational Quotes Day? Christ, I’ve had enough. I’d take the anonymity of LA right about now.
I head back to the seclusion of my grandfather’s house.
9
JOHN
“I hear you’ve been helping Micah clean out his grandfather’s house,” June says as I slide a glass of white wine toward her.
“And Aaron is helping him remodel,” Jack chimes in, opting for one of his favorite red blends.
It’s only the three of us, having an informal sibling gathering at my bar, which is different from what we do monthly in my backyard, when my aunt and uncle show up with a side dish or two while I grill out like we used to do with Mom and Dad. Sometimes, others make an entrance, like Jack’s best friend, Frank, but mostly, it’s just us trying to stay connected since the accident that took three of our family members.
June’s gaze fills with concern. “Everything all right with the two of you?”
I’ve always been an easygoing, glass-half-full guy, but after Micah left town and my parents died, I had a hard time staying upbeat, let alone showing up at my bar every day. Sometimes, I regret telling Micah to return to LA. Regret acting like I was strong while completely crumbling inside. Pretending I didn’t desperately need him—my husband. I told myself I didn’t want him to resent me for missing out on audition opportunities and that we needed to stick with the plan. So, after he left, I threw myself into work and got through the pain.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I avert my gaze, trying not to think about that damned kiss last week. “Good thing we have a solid basis of friendship and can hang out without griping at each other for past mistakes.” Though, keeping our hands to ourselves is a different story. We’ve always had that problem.
She frowns. “You may not gripe in plain view, but that man left town and, outside of the funeral, hasn’t returned in years.”
“I told him to leave, and he struggled with the decision, as did I. But it was the right one for him and us. Had he not left, I would still be wondering if he was fulfilled and happy enough here.”
“And is he in LA?”
I shrug. “You’d have to ask him. After this long, it’s become moot.”
“And what about you, Johnny?”
“Fulfilled and happy?” I ask, and she nods. “Enough.”
“Enough that you won’t initiate divorce and move on?” I see Jack grimace in my side view. “What if the right man is waiting right around the corner?”
I won’t say there will never be anyone for me other than Micah. Instead, I look around me and tease, “Where is he? Or she, for that matter.”
Jack high-fives me, and June scoffs at us.
“Does this mean you’re ready to move on?” I ask June, who hasn’t dated anyone since her husband died.
“No, but those were circumstances I couldn’t help.”
“I couldn’t help them either.” I grit my teeth. “Life is not black and white. Sometimes, it’s the wrong time or circumstances or person. Or maybe it’s the right person, but your lives never line up.”
“Not sure I believe that,” Jack pipes in.
“How can you say that when you and Aaron almost didn’t make it work?”
“Because I see you growing complacent.” He swirls the red wine in his glass. “I took a leap of faith and was willing to move to San Jose.”
“I’m sorry, what?” June asks shrilly. “How come we’re only finding out about this now?”