Total pages in book: 138
Estimated words: 126823 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 634(@200wpm)___ 507(@250wpm)___ 423(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 126823 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 634(@200wpm)___ 507(@250wpm)___ 423(@300wpm)
Chapter Twenty
Shabina held out her left arm to show the scorpion that was tattooed two inches above her wrist. The tattoo artist was considered one of the best. Rainier knew him. He had once worked in the same occupation as Rainier.
“I want this tattoo covered, and I brought in the artwork I would like to replace it with. I believe it will cover it nicely.”
Across from her, Rainier held out his hand to her. Shabina immediately put her hand in his. There was a special intimacy in going together to get two tattoos each. One on the arm and the other on the thigh.
“Why didn’t you have this done years ago, Qadri? You should have rid yourself of him completely.”
Shabina thought about her answer. She knew the reason, but explaining it to someone else was difficult. She’d always worn long sleeves and kept the tattoo covered. Even when she swam with her friends, she wore a shirt over her bathing suit.
“It was important to me to know I belonged wholly to myself. I wanted to know I was strong, and that he could never take that strength and belief in myself away from me again.”
“He never took your strength, Shabina,” Rainier pointed out, his voice gentle. His gaze softened to tenderness. “He tried, but you refused to give in to him no matter what he did.”
His obvious pride in her touched her. She wasn’t used to compliments or having anyone look at her with such love the way he did.
“Rainier, I know you love me, and I appreciate you thinking I’m a strong person, but you know I suffer from PTSD and the episodes are horrific at times.”
The tattoo artist’s head jerked up, his dark gaze moved over her face and then settled on Rainier’s.
Rainier didn’t seem to be in the least bothered by the fact that the man heard everything. “Qadri, I suffer from PTSD. Most of my men do. We’ve all seen and had to do things that stick with us. PTSD isn’t a sign of weakness. Our brains and bodies are on overload at times and we need a little help. Everyone does. That isn’t a weakness.”
She found herself frowning. Rainier was the strongest man she knew. “Do you go to a counselor?”
The tattoo artist once more bent over her arm. He would place her own tattoo there, the one that said eye of the storm in Arabic. Rainier helped design the artwork with a friend of his.
“It isn’t like we can just talk to anyone. Most of what we did and do is classified. Finding a counselor is not always easy for men like us, but it’s necessary. It’s also necessary to reach out to one another when we’re in crisis.”
She hadn’t considered that Rainier suffered from PTSD, but it made sense. Just his childhood alone was enough to have given him psychological issues, let alone the many missions he’d been sent on by Blom as well as his role as the assassin in the Middle East. It hadn’t occurred to her that Larado or any of the other men on her protection detail had moments like she did. She considered herself weak because she couldn’t overcome the episodes when she was triggered. She would never consider Rainier or his men weak. Not ever. Why hadn’t she thought of herself like them?
Being with Rainier made her feel safe, but it was the way he empowered and believed in her that made her love him so much. More every day when she hadn’t thought she could love him more.
“Where are you putting the second tattoo? I’d like to see the artwork,” the tattoo artist broke into their conversation.
She’d almost forgotten why she was there. “My second tattoo will go on my left thigh. You’ll see the scars. I’d like it put there.” She showed him a second version of the Deadly Storms tattoo. She wanted Rainier’s identity over that mass of scars. She pulled up her skirt to show her leg. “Can you do it?” She couldn’t keep the anxiety out of her voice.
“No problem. The way the tattoo was designed, it will fit the scars you have nicely.”
“My tattoo will be placed on my left arm two inches above my wrist,” Rainier said. “A different version of her tattoo will be on my left thigh. It also says eye of the storm in Arabic, just like hers, but is a little different.” He showed the man the drawing of the tattoo. “You’ve seen the scars I have.”
“It won’t be a problem, Rainier,” the man assured. “Let’s get to work. Doing four tattoos is going to take some time, particularly when they’re so intricate. I take it you want as close to a gold color as possible?” He indicated the coloring on the art.
“Yes, as close as you can get.”