Total pages in book: 138
Estimated words: 126823 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 634(@200wpm)___ 507(@250wpm)___ 423(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 126823 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 634(@200wpm)___ 507(@250wpm)___ 423(@300wpm)
Raine rubbed her forehead, frowning. “Rainier isn’t a saint, Shabina. I don’t want you to look at him through rose-colored glasses. You’ll end up disappointed. Things between you will fall apart fast.”
Shabina gave a short laugh, feeling lighter just thinking about Rainier. “I doubt I could ever make the mistake of viewing that man as a saint. He doesn’t even try to pretend he’s not a bit of a dictator.”
“Are you able to stand up to him?” Raine sought reassurance.
Shabina thought about the question before she answered. Did she stand up to Rainier? She nodded slowly. “Unless what he’s saying is very logical or it matters to him more than it matters to me. When I want something or feel I need it, I have no problem letting him know.”
Raine sighed with relief. “I think Rainier is a good man, Shabina, but he’s also as tough as nails, if you’ll excuse the analogy. He’s going to walk all over someone who can’t stand up to him. You need to stay strong when you’re fighting for what you want.”
“I survived what most others couldn’t,” Shabina pointed out, realizing it was the truth. Her time with Scorpion had been horrific. Most others, men or women, would have broken. She had been sixteen. The longer she was held prisoner, and the worse the tortures and rapes, only made her more determined not to break.
For the first time, she realized how strong she really was. She had managed to stand up to a man others feared for good reason. Rainier kept reiterating that to her, telling her no one else had ever done what she had, but all that time she considered herself weak. Mostly because she had PTSD from the trauma of what she’d seen, heard and experienced. When she felt weak and vulnerable, it colored how she viewed herself.
Scorpion had taken every opportunity to make her feel weak and useless. His men followed his example. Eventually, no matter how often she told herself the things he said weren’t true, a part of her believed them. That had also colored her belief that she was weak. Rainier often asked her who she wanted to believe—Scorpion, a man who lied and murdered, or Rainier, the man who loved her. Of course, in the beginning, he’d never used the word love. He just had said “the man who’s always honest with you.”
“Yes, you did, Shabina,” Raine said. “You think he’s your light, but I know you’re his. The jobs he’s taken on were some of the worst. The most dangerous. He goes places no one else dares to go. And most of the time he volunteers. What does that say to you?”
“I used to believe the same thing, Raine, that he didn’t care whether he lived or died, but I don’t think that’s the truth. I think Rainier takes those jobs on because he believes he has a better chance of surviving than anyone else. He’s off-the-chart protective, and it’s not just me he looks out for.”
“You’ll always be his number one,” Raine said. “After the fiasco of that horrible casino owner trying to kill Vienna, I became very interested in Rainier. For one thing, he made you cry. You were obviously in love with him.”
“You couldn’t tell that.”
“I could. It was the way you looked at him. More important, to me, was the way he looked at you. Once I began looking into him, I realized very quickly that he’s built his entire life around you. It was obvious to me that he was determined to keep you safe. Not only that, but that he wanted you happy.”
Shabina frowned, trying to comprehend the things Raine was telling her. “I didn’t see him very often. I wanted him to have a life. I worried that as long as I kept him coming back to me, he wouldn’t find anyone to share his life with. I wanted him happy.”
“He didn’t realize you had feelings for him. He thought he lost you by showing you who he is. That didn’t stop him from setting up a home base close to you, one where he could take a small plane and get to you very quickly. He made it known to those he employed in his security company that you are always the first priority. He acquired planes, helicopters, boats and more weapons than you can imagine. His employees are men and women who were always the best in their field. Even his dogs were trained with the idea that they would look after you. Rainier was obsessed with watching over you.”
Rainier had declared she was his world and she believed him. Raine had used the word obsessed. That was a red flag to her. Her father was obsessed with her mother. She didn’t want to have a relationship like her father had with her mother. She nearly voiced her concerns, but then she forced her brain away from panic to think logically.