Total pages in book: 131
Estimated words: 118860 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 594(@200wpm)___ 475(@250wpm)___ 396(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 118860 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 594(@200wpm)___ 475(@250wpm)___ 396(@300wpm)
Sarika did deep breathing, trying to understand her reaction. She had expected the things Tomas would reveal to be huge. She didn’t think the lifemate thing was trivial. Why was she reeling so badly? She could almost hear doors in her mind creaking. Rattling. Trying to open.
Those memories were sealed closed for many reasons. Her mind could never accept her nightmares as reality, and the nightmares were horrendous. The things she witnessed in those visions were so terrifying she couldn’t face them. Especially if they were real and the culprits turned out to be Carpathian.
She didn’t have panic attacks over most things, but she did when it came to those nightmares. She was incredibly strong. She believed in herself. In her training. And she’d trained hard in self-defense simply because she traveled the world, and going into other countries, some unstable, some dictated solely by men, she wanted to be able to depend on herself to escape any situation.
That wasn’t the case here. This rainforest was triggering things best left alone. Tomas’ explanation shouldn’t have sent her into a full-blown panic, but it had. She needed to calm herself to allow Tomas to continue. She didn’t want him there with her to observe her reactions to the things he was telling her. She’d asked him. No, made it a demand, insisting on learning her way, and he had given her enough respect to do so even though he felt that decision wasn’t the best.
She always made tea for herself when she woke, no matter the time of day or night. On automatic pilot, she made her way into the kitchen. The ritual of making tea was as soothing to her as the actual drinking of it. She wasn’t even surprised that Luiz had the kitchen stocked with her favorite brands of herbal teas. Chamomile was her tea of choice. It provided a soothing calm and combated anxiety. It was loose-leaf, her preference, and with the kettle and infuser set right out with the choices of tea, Luiz had made it easy for her to have whatever she needed at her fingertips.
She put the water on to boil and walked over to the window to look at the view. The tree house had an incredible panorama of the surrounding jungle. Tropical flowers climbed tree trunks, giving joyful, gorgeous splashes of color as a backdrop to the hundreds of various shades of green. What would it be like to travel through such beauty and never see it? Tomas and his brothers had frequented many rainforests in various countries. She knew because she followed T. Smolnycki Jr. and the good he was doing for those habitats. And if not seeing that beauty for centuries, what would it be like to suddenly have all that change? The shades of green were vivid. The flowers vibrant, even at night. Some of the plants came alive at night.
Did you remember the beauty of the rainforest?
Those memories were lost to us many centuries ago. My brothers helped to keep what we could alive, but eventually, over so long a time, those things fade until there are only gray shadows and the need to do battle with the enemy. We held out to find our lifemates when so many others succumbed to darkness. When judging my actions, I would like you to think of that. How long I have existed in a dull void. How long I refused to dishonor myself, my brothers, our people and especially you. You were that reason. That hope. The only safe haven I have. The only reason to keep my honor. Not only did you restore colors and give me my soul, but you gave me the ability to feel emotion. In turn, I can share those things with my brothers to help them stay on the path and keep to the code.
There was a lot to like about what he said. It did make her important to him. Perhaps too important. That would speak loudly to his making decisions that affected her life without giving her choices. That wasn’t a good thing. She should still have a say, be given the time to process his needs, but she understood better why he took the action he had. She still didn’t understand why those ritual binding words affected her the way they had and what changes in her they’d made.
I am doing my best not to be judgmental, Tomas. I will admit it is difficult to try to think in your point of view because your experiences are so different from mine. I understand a Carpathian woman growing up knowing she is a hunter’s salvation. Because she has known, probably since birth, it must be far easier for her than for someone who has no concept of such a thing. Trying to put it in perspective, relating to your customs and imprints that become compulsions is extremely difficult for an outsider.