Total pages in book: 28
Estimated words: 27008 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 135(@200wpm)___ 108(@250wpm)___ 90(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 27008 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 135(@200wpm)___ 108(@250wpm)___ 90(@300wpm)
It was a chicken and egg problem.
And even sitting and leaning into the back of the couch trying to look casual wasn’t helping my nerves any.
“Would you like something to drink? Water?” He raised one eyebrow when I didn’t answer immediately. “Joseph, are you okay with us meeting tonight?”
I couldn’t decide if he could read me better than I’d hoped or if I was just being obviously awkward.
Probably both.
“Yes, I’m sorry.” I took a breath, cutting off a glib response about being tired. I mean I was, but that wasn’t the reason I was worrying him. “This is just…”
Words weren’t coming, so I shrugged and let the silence stretch out while I tried to relax. It wasn’t working, but I was hoping he knew I was trying and wouldn’t get frustrated with me. But Doms always got frustrated with me.
I’d hoped the problem had been that I was rushing to meet people when I didn’t have the patience to be big any longer. However, that didn’t seem to be the case because I definitely hadn’t let myself go too quickly with Arthur.
“Have your limits for tonight changed?” Arthur’s words cut through the jumble in my head, but it took me a second to get the words to make sense.
Why was this so much harder than work?
Maybe if he talked to me in something other than English it would be easier?
Hell, pig Latin might be enough to get my brain in gear.
Oh. Limits.
I’d actually done a reasonably good job of talking about them. Just thinking about the conversation had something easing in my chest.
“No.” That part jumped out, but then the actual details of that discussion came back to me and I blushed. “They haven’t changed…I’m just…fucking this up? I’m green.”
God, I was hopeless.
He was going to leave like the last guy, before I’d even gotten a bottle of water.
A grown-up plastic bottle…not the fun kind.
The asshole I’d met in Germany had started to walk up to the bar and had just headed out the front door.
I wasn’t sure what I would do if it happened again. Real life was never as predictable as work, but the gentle way Arthur took my hands was completely unexpected. He was strong but careful as his thumbs caressed the back of my hands. “I want you to take a breath and hold it for five seconds before you let it out. I’m going to count.”
Huh?
Oh.
Yep, my brain was out of order from all the stress…and not the good work kind.
“Yes, Sir.” That wasn’t bad…had it been awkward?
Before I could swallow and get enough moisture in my mouth to ask the probably stupid question, he smiled and nodded like he was proud of me. “Good boy.”
Oh.
It’d been so long since I’d felt the happy sparks firing through me that I sucked in a breath. Thankfully, that was what I was supposed to do, so I didn’t look ridiculous as I quickly closed my lips. His eyes had a spark of something that was probably laughter, but he nodded and didn’t let it out.
“One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Good boy, now let it out slowly.” His gentle strokes continued as I released the air, and I found myself watching his thumbs make soft circles over the back of my hand. The almost hypnotic caress had me wanting to lean into him, even though we weren’t ready for that yet.
Right?
But this was Arthur…
I’d been imagining this moment since the first time I’d heard his voice come through the phone. The emails and cautious messages hadn’t been personal enough for me to feel that connection, but his voice, yeah, that’d made it feel very real.
I started to apologize, but as soon as I opened my mouth, he shook his head. “No sorries. One more deep breath and then I’ll tell you what we’re going to do next.”
Ignoring how his Daddy voice sent a shiver through me, I told myself obeying was easier than trying to talk and looking stupid again. I took a slightly exaggerated deep breath to show him I was going to be good and refused to admit how wonderful it felt when his expression perked up like he was proud of me.
Squeezing my hands, he nodded faintly. “Good boy. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. And out…yes, very slowly. That’s right.”
When I’d exhaled and was breathing normally again, I had to admit I didn’t feel as off-kilter. Apologizing didn’t seem like it would make Daddy happy, especially since logically I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong, so I tried to stick with simple. “Thank you.”
Fuck.
Should I have said Daddy?
Sir?
Arthur?
No.
That sounded wrong on a variety of levels…primarily because we were in Bound & Controlled. A BDSM club didn’t seem like it was the right place to call him Arthur.
“Sir?”
Oh god, the pause…and it’d lilted up at the end like a question.