Total pages in book: 27
Estimated words: 26471 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 132(@200wpm)___ 106(@250wpm)___ 88(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 26471 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 132(@200wpm)___ 106(@250wpm)___ 88(@300wpm)
“Selfish?!” I say, about to rail into him. Nothing about my life is selfish. Everything I do, I do for other people. For him, for the record company, for the producers, the band, the fans. If I was brave enough to do something for me, my lips would be wrapped around the barrel of a revolver.
“I told you, I don’t want to play—”
The words disappear from my mouth when I see what must be an illusion walking by in the distance. My heart stops as I stare at her until she disappears into a room surrounded by half a dozen people.
“Cash?” Bret says as I stare open-mouthed at the closing door. “Cash, are you okay?”
I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I can’t… stop… staring…
There’s no way she was real. She was a hallucination. A fantasy.
All those drugs and all that alcohol over the years is starting to catch up to me. It must be rotting my brain out.
But then a bodyguard opens the door to go in and I catch another glimpse of her.
She’s sitting on the couch, smooth legs pressed together under her white jean skirt. Her hands are clasped in her lap as she does a vocal warm-up with what must be her mom. I can’t stop staring. Her long blonde curly hair, bright green eyes, and young exuberant attitude. She’s a dream. A muse. A fantasy come to life.
She’s what angels must look like. I can feel her youth and excitement and it’s contagious.
“Are you… smiling?” Bret asks, staring at me in shock.
“No,” I snap, frowning. “It’s just… Who is that?”
The door closes right after he gets a peek.
“That’s Lola Lively,” he says. “The hot new thing. She’s got the number two country track in the country.”
I swallow hard as I stare at the closed door. “Who has the number one track?”
“You do, Cash,” he says with an eye roll.
“I want to meet her,” I say as my feet start moving.
“She’s going on now,” he says. “Where are you going? Cash!”
The door bursts open and she comes out surrounded by her crew. I step back and stare at her in awe as she makes her way to the stage.
My heart is pounding so hard it feels like it’s going to tear my chest apart.
I feel myself leaning in, desperate to get close to her, to smell her, to watch her, to touch her, to be engulfed by her beauty and innocence. I need her. Like I’ve never needed anything.
My heart aches as I watch her stop at the edge of the stage. She’s talking to herself, hyping herself up.
This girl is not phoning it in. She’s preparing herself so she can give the fans a real show.
It feels like I’m witnessing something private, something intimate, but I can’t look away. I just stare at her while jagged cuts tear through my hardened insides, ripping me apart like an earthquake. The old dried up and broken Cash crumbles to pieces, falling to the ground as a new awake and aware Cash emerges from the wreckage.
I’m trembling all over as she bounces onto the stage, looking buoyant and full of life. The crowd adores her. They cheer and holler, ready for a great show.
She says a few happy words into the mic that I can’t quite hear over the vicious pounding of my heart in my ears.
Something is happening to me. I feel something taking over as I watch her sing.
I feel different. I feel… revived.
It’s her.
I feel like everything is changing with every second my eyes are on her. I’m being reborn as I watch her play.
The old way of doing things is over.
It’s time to give a fuck again.
It’s time to care.
And it’s time to get that girl and make her mine.
CHAPTER TWO
Lola
This is crazy. There are so many people.
It’s like an ocean of faces smiling at me, singing my songs, dancing along to my music. This is incredible. It’s amazing.
It’s so loud my insides are vibrating to the sound of the cheers as I finish My Soul’s Match. I can feel the vibrations through my feet. My cheeks hurt from smiling so much as I stare out at the roaring crowd in awe.
I turn to my drummer Rachel and smile. She gives me a wink. I was freaking out a little backstage since this is by far the biggest crowd I’ve ever played to and she helped calm me down.
“It’s not about you, Lola,” she said to me. “It’s not your job to get nervous. It’s not your job to focus on yourself. They’re here to have fun and to dance to a rocking show and it’s your job to give it to them. Focus on them, not on yourself, and you’ll be fine.”
I wink back at her and turn to the crowd with a deep breath. There’s just so many of them. I still can’t believe this is happening to me. That my dreams are actually coming true.