Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 83205 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 416(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83205 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 416(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Because I am. With every day that passes, I worry that I'm not going to fit in with these people. That once we reach this beach destination, she will realize she doesn't need me. That I am not a good provider and a worse protector, and that she can do better. She deserves someone that handles delicate situations with ease and doesn't hide them from her. She needs someone that will look at strangers and see them as allies, instead of someone that sees nothing but potential rivals.
But…I want to be her male. I don't want anyone else coming near her. I don't want anyone else receiving her smiles or her laughter. I want her to come to me with her problems so I can fix them. Increasingly, I worry I am her problem. "I am out of place with strangers," I admit. "It is…difficult."
Her eyes widen with surprise. "You've been doing so well! I had no idea."
That is because I am trying very hard not to let it show.
"Everyone is so nice," Aidy continues. "Well, except Valmir, but he's consistent, at least." She shrugs and gazes up at me with bright eyes full of hope. "I'd forgotten how wonderful it is to have friends."
And I have not forgotten that I am not made to have friends.
CHAPTER
THIRTY-ONE
CORVAK
I stare out at the cluster of huts dotted across the beach, and I am overwhelmed.
The land is strange. The mountains are behind us now, falling away to a steep cliff and then a strange calm flatness. The flatness edges out to the waters, which roil and crash against the shore as if they have a vendetta. It is my first glimpse upon the ocean, and I can stare and stare and there is yet more to see. There are small birds circling over the waters. Chunks of ice drifting offshore. Craggy rocks rising from the distant waters like fingers.
And the people. There are so many of them. Everywhere I look, there are people on the shore. I see at least two dozen huts and several cookfires. I see people fishing and children running on the sand. Someone points in our direction as we head down the steep path towards the village, and then it feels as if all eyes are upon us.
I do not realize I am clutching Aidy's hand too tightly until she squeaks. Immediately, I am ashamed and release her. "I didn't realize—"
"It's okay. Just maybe don't grip that hard?" She eyes me with concern even as she slips her hand back into my grasp again. "Don't tell me you're shy?"
"I am not," I bluster. Shy sounds…not very warrior-like. "I am just uncomfortable with so many people staring at us."
"I imagine they're curious. They don't know anything about us, remember? They'll stop staring after a bit." She gives me an affectionate squeeze. "It's going to be okay. I'll be at your side."
Again, I feel unworthy of her affection. Aidy is such a good mate and I am…useless. A gladiator with no tourney to fight, a warrior with no war.
People begin streaming towards us. Thrand and Nadine wave, and U'dron pulls the sled faster, dragging it ahead of Aidy and myself. I deliberately slow my steps even more, letting him pass, but also giving myself a chance to watch the reactions of others as they approach. They are smiling, their faces full of curiosity as they view us. These are not rivals. They would not look at us with such eagerness if we were here to fight them. I watch as a male approaches, one with four arms. Such an interesting build. I wonder if I could ask for more arms, because they would make grappling easy…and then I remember I am a gladiator no longer.
If what they are saying is true, I have been rejected and abandoned here with the other clones. I am not wanted as a fighter. I clench my jaw against this painful realization. Part of me had hoped that we were being misled, that this was a ploy to flush us out and get us to a more easily accessible fighting arena. There is no ploy, though, and I should not be as disappointed as I am.
"I am J’shel,” the male with four arms says as he approaches. He is the first one to move directly to myself and Aidy. He speaks in a tongue that is foreign to me, but my translator implant easily adjusts it as quickly as it does to Aidy's language. "We are glad you have joined us. All are welcome."
"I'm Aidy," my mate says, and then touches my arm. "This is Corvak. We ran when we were dropped with the others. We thought it was a game of some kind."
"I was not dropped," he replies, an easy, welcoming smile on his face. "I am from the island."