Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 77505 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 388(@200wpm)___ 310(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77505 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 388(@200wpm)___ 310(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
“Like yesterday?”
“Yeah. But there are highs, too.”
“How’s that? Isn’t it that you don’t have sugar?”
“Yeah, but the… damn math,” I said, shaking my head. “It was never my best subject. And everything is calculations now. How much insulin to how many carbs. So sometimes I can overcorrect. And sometimes my body just seems to react differently to foods, even if I took the right amount.”
“The high feels different?”
“Yeah, the highs usually mean I’m super thirsty, have dry mouth, fatigue, headache, blurry vision, mental fog, and sometimes… I’m a raging bitch. And it takes me a bit to realize the agitation is the sugar issue, not me.”
“The low is the shakiness?”
“And sweating, hunger, racing heart, dizziness, tingling, or something that feels like anxiety, but it’s just an adrenaline rush from my body trying to correct.”
“That’s a lot, babe,” he said, making me turn to find him watching me with something in his eyes that had my heart feel like it squeezed.
Like he was seeing me.
Like he was understanding.
As much as he could, anyway.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “But I’m figuring it out.”
“Yeah, but it’s still a lot if you have it all figured out. I take my body for granted.”
“I think we all do. Until it forces us not to anymore. We will pretty much all deal with some sort of chronic pain or illness if we live long enough.”
“True. But it probably hits a lot differently if you only have to deal with it for a few years, not most of your life.”
“Why does it feel like you’re trying to make it seem like a whole big thing?”
“Because it is. And you don’t need to downplay it because it makes you feel vulnerable to admit it.”
Damn him.
My gaze cut away. Hopefully before he noticed the glistening in my eyes.
He was right.
It was a big thing.
A life-altering thing.
And it was nice to hear that be acknowledged. Even if it did make me feel vulnerable.
“Okay. That’s enough,” I told Sugar. “Whatever it is, I’m sure you don’t need to eat it,” I said with a little tug on the leash until she left whatever it was and started walking again.
“I can’t believe Detroit made sure to buy enough steak for the dogs.”
Sugar had scoffed it up, her tail practically wagging off her butt.
She got some fancy fresh food on a rotating flavor schedule with different toppers so she never got bored. But, well, there was no beating steak. And she needed a meal after running around for hours.
“The club takes the pets very seriously.”
“That little fluffball was too much. She runs the whole place.”
“She’s a wolf at heart.”
“You don’t have a pet?”
“Not yet, no.”
“You don’t want one?”
“I’d love another Basset. I had one once. They’re stubborn pains in the ass, but they’re sweet dogs.”
“This is the only pet I’ve ever had,” I admitted.
“Why?”
“I think I knew from a young age that the clubhouse wouldn’t have been a safe place for a defenseless animal. Then, I guess, I just kind of forgot it was an option. What a waste of years, though,” I said, smiling down at Sugar.
“What if you eventually get that meter thing to track your sugar?”
“She gets to go into retirement. Maybe get a sibling.”
“What’s your plan when you get your club back?”
When.
I liked that.
Like he didn’t have a drop of doubt.
I’d been a swimming pool of doubt for months.
“What do you mean?”
“The same racket?” he asked.
“Oh. No. I mean… I dunno. I think things have changed too much. Don’t get me wrong, it was lucrative. We didn’t live rich, but we never had to worry about money.”
Thank God I’d been smart enough not to stash all the money at the clubhouse. Or I’d be dealing with trying to figure out this new chronic illness of mine while also working some soul-sucking job. Though, yeah, money was dwindling down. Even with being careful.
But once I had my club back, I would have to figure out how to pay bills. And quickly.
“It just feels different because of what the girls have gone through.”
“Yeah.”
“They might find it empowering in a way. Having the upper hand on men again after being under their thumbs.”
“Maybe. I won’t know until they’ve gone through recovery and therapy for what happened to them, though. And I will need money before then. I have the mortgage mostly paid off, but bills will roll in eventually.”
“You can switch up the kind of blackmail. Plenty of secrets can be uncovered without putting beautiful women in front of lecherous men.”
“True,” I said. “I think I’d need to take some classes on, hacking and shit, though.”
“I happen to know a hacker,” Colter said.
“Let me guess… Rook.”
“How’d you know?”
“I dunno. It always seems to be the skinny guys with lots of ink.”
“Yeah. He could teach you a thing or two. Just an option to keep in mind.”