Total pages in book: 177
Estimated words: 163387 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 817(@200wpm)___ 654(@250wpm)___ 545(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 163387 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 817(@200wpm)___ 654(@250wpm)___ 545(@300wpm)
As much as I wanted to jump right in right then and there and get some help for my dad, I mean, who wouldn’t in this situation? I didn’t. Somehow I didn’t want to make us about that, though I’ll admit it killed me not to ask. She’d already told me that she was sure his doctors were doing the best at this stage in the game.
So I didn’t make all of our conversations about that dark cloud and didn’t feel guilty because I was thinking about something else other than my dad, something I’m sure would’ve been different if she were anyone else.
It’s little things like that that convinced me more and more that she was meant to be a part of my life. Add the fact that if I don’t see her for more than a few hours, I get this weird feeling of anxiety until I hear her voice. I’m doing a pretty good job of hiding all this from her and my boys, but I’m not sure how long I can keep it up.
You always hear about girls or women falling in love, how they react; there isn’t much out there on the male of the species; it’s as if they think men are wired differently, like we don’t have emotions and shit. I’m here to tell you that falling in love, which is what I think I am, is another kind of hell.
I find myself missing her at the weirdest times. Sometimes I can sense her before I see her, or weirder still, I’ll think of her, and she’d call me or appear in front of me. It’s only been a little more than a week since we’ve started officially dating. If shit is like this already, I can’t get my mind around how things will be in the near future. I just know there’s something about her that I’m supposed to hold onto.
What’s more, I don’t feel the need to rush, though, at odd moments, I find myself questioning how fast is too fast, too soon. She’s definitely not the type to jump into bed with me in a day or two, so I know I have to go slow, but somehow I don’t mind that either. Okay, not too much.
I guess you can say we’re a perfect match considering my plans before I met her, but it’s starting to drive me crazy. Sometimes I’d find myself just staring at her as she had her head bent over a book, and in my mind, I was trying to find that thing that kept drawing me to her.
Other women have become a blur, their faces all meshed into one; hers is the only one that stands out. Like she’s been superimposed over everyone else. The guys have begun to notice and have already started in with their teasing shit, but even they treat her differently.
Whenever they bring her up, it’s never any of the usual male pig bullshit. Even Steve and Chad, my closest buds out of the whole bunch, have started treating her like their little sister. This is after they’d stopped looking at me like I’d morphed into something unrecognizable those first few days.
By day ten, we had a kind of routine going. Every morning I’d pick her up and take her to her first class across campus, we’d meet between classes if our previous classes were close enough to each other, and of course, we shared all lunches in the cafeteria where we were still the main event.
Most evenings, we were together somewhere, studying in between, smiling at each other, and holding hands like ten-year-olds. The only hitch was on those evenings; I had football practice, which was a lot. I needed to concentrate on the game, but my mind stayed on her. So now I’ve decided to make her come to practice and sit in the stands even though she doesn’t have the first clue what’s going on, on the field and never will since her eyes tend to glaze over every time I try explaining it to her. But she can explain calculus theorem without missing a beat, weird.
It was obvious to everyone by now that we were a couple. I think it took longer to convince her than the rest of the nosy people on campus. She seemed to have it in her head that she wasn’t my type, that I’d lose interest in her and move on to someone else when I got bored.
Once I asked her what my type was, and she pointed out damn near every female I’d already turned down. I didn’t tell her that shit because she seems to feel intimidated by other women’s interest in me.
I imagine if she thinks like that, that I’m more suited to be with someone else, that shit will happen; I don’t have that problem. I don’t think anyone else will ever be better for me than my sweet girl.