Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 79244 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79244 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Snow drifts in the air as if we’re caught in a snowstorm, settling on the red-and-gold horses frozen mid-gallop, their painted eyes wide with manic joy.
Killian pushes his hands into his pocket, but approaches slowly, like a rabbit coaxed by a carrot. “I mean… it’s not like anyone can see us here…”
I can already see him riding one, rolling his eyes, pretending he’s not having the time of his life while secretly loving every second.
“You care what other people think about you? I don’t believe that!”
I brush snow from two of the wooden figures and gesture at the one closer to the middle of the carousel in an inviting gesture. Kill bites after a full two seconds of pretending he doesn’t care, and climbs the fake pony that’s only a bit too small for him. With a grin, I open the steering and press the on switch. There’s a moment’s delay that has my heart in my throat, but then the lights flicker on, circus-style music starts as if it were coming from a vinyl someone stopped with their hand, and the platform jerks with a creak, starting its revolving motion.
The hesitation from earlier withers, gone in the glow of pure amazement radiating from my future husband. This is how I want him to feel all the time when I’m around. I want him safe, happy, and I want to be the Prince Charming who fulfills all his secret dreams.
And yet it’s not just for him. This is not some game where I play a fake version of myself to make him marry me for real. I love this moment too. The lights, the music, the scenery all take me on a walk down memory lane, and maybe this time everything is going to play out in my favor.
Kill sighs. “I spent half my life rebelling. When I fell for a guy at sixteen, I stuck to it even when my parents kicked me out. I got tattoos, green hair, told people what I think of them to their face, including your parents. But after a few days here, I kind of… I want at least a few people from your family to like me. It’s stupid, since I probably won’t see them again, but I like the fantasy of—anyway, you were saying that you felt lonely, and instead of following up, I talked about the carousel, sorry. This is just so fucking amazing.”
My heart throbs as I fold my long legs to fit on the wooden horse next to Killian’s. With the warm glow coming from above, everything beyond the carousel seems a bit dim, as if nighttime was already upon us, protecting this magical moment from prying eyes.
“Your family made a mistake. But mine won’t. Mother already approves of my choice of husband,” I tell him, tickling his palm with my fingertips.
He laughs almost shyly and pulls away. “Oh yeah? What does she like about me most?”
A strange tension crawls up my throat, as if a tiny octopus was trying to regain its freedom after being eaten, but I swallow it down and keep watching his handsome face. “She was always worried that I’m lonely. But I don’t feel like that when I’m with you.”
Am I working hard on wooing him into my grasp? Yes. But did I tell a single lie? No.
If anything, I’m realizing how much I need to make him mine.
“Are you sure there’s no hot mafioso out there for you who can fulfil all your dreams and handle all your secrets?” Killian’s teasing but won’t look into my eyes.
I exhale and stroke his forearm as we ride our magical horses. “I used to have a crush on one of my cousins. He was a bit of a rebel, had a mohawk, and I thought he was the coolest person I ever met,” I tell Kill, my eyes drifting to the trees as I recall the last time I rode this merry-go-round.
Kill’s face whips to me in an instant. “No! Your cousin? Which one?”
Is he jealous?
Maybe it’s immature of me, but I want him to be jealous.
“Corvus. The one in black? I almost kissed him right here, a very long time ago,” I say and lean a bit closer to Killian, my hand tight around the pole keeping my seat in place.
Kill watches me with eyes shifting from side to side as he’s digesting this information. “Do you… still have a thing for him? Is he gay?” His nostrils flare as he asks that, and he’s a bit flushed.
If I didn’t promise him not to lie, I’d manipulate the truth to get him even more jealous, but I have to stay honest.
“No, I’ve grown out of that crush. And I’m not wasting my time on closet cases like him. My tastes have matured, and I’m very particular,” I whisper, eyes locked on Killian’s.