Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 133878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 669(@200wpm)___ 536(@250wpm)___ 446(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 133878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 669(@200wpm)___ 536(@250wpm)___ 446(@300wpm)
Shane shook his head. “No. I know everyone loves her. I just can’t see her leaving the city.”
“You know I would have said the same thing about Logan Green. I would have told you that kid was never getting further from Bliss than Alamosa,” Henry admitted. “And I was wrong. The world is bigger and smaller than we think it is. I’ve seen most of it. I’ve seen the good and the bad. The beautiful places of this earth and the war-torn ones. I lived in DC for a long time. I don’t ever want to live anywhere but here. I’m glad my Nell doesn’t want to go anywhere else because this is my home.”
He had some questions since Henry seemed so open in the moment. “Is it true you worked for the Central Intelligence Agency? You don’t have to tell me. I can mind my own business.”
“I get the feeling you do that a lot, and what’s the fun in that? One of the things I love about this place is how no one minds their business.”
Oh, he got a bad feeling that he’d opened a door better left closed. “I mean some people do.”
“Nah,” Henry said. “And yes, it’s true. In another life I was a man named John Bishop. I worked intelligence, and not in some ivory tower. I was an operative, and a deadly one. And then I found this place and I discovered another part of me. We don’t have to stay the people we are when we’re younger. We don’t have to be who they told us to be. In my case I didn’t stay who the Agency said I was. Cold. Unfeeling. Unable to care about real people because of abandonment issues.”
That cut close. “I get the feeling you’re trying to tell me something. You should be clear. I’m not real smart.”
Henry’s lips tugged up in a rueful grin. “Oh, there it is. You see, you are smart. You’re good at solving problems. You’re excellent at a lot of things, but you downplay everything good about yourself. In another life, I would have recruited you, Shane Kent. I would have taken you under my very deadly wing and taught you how to play the game.”
Shane laughed at the thought. “I would be a terrible spy.”
“Not after I trained you,” Henry said in all seriousness. “I’ve noticed you’re organized and you see mechanical problems easily. You also hide your need for praise. I would have become the father figure you so desperately needed, and you would have found yourself in my debt and later in my pocket.”
Okay, Henry was kind of scary. “I thought about going into the military, but Bay didn’t want to.”
“Bay saved you,” Henry said quietly. “I assure you if you’d gone into the military, you would be on a Special Forces team very quickly, and then someone like John Bishop would have come knocking on your door. All I’m saying is it’s become apparent to me that you’re hiding a lot out of fear. You might not even realize it’s fear. For you it seems like a logical thing to do, but I’ve learned when we close ourselves off to possibilities, it’s always fear that drives us. Fear. Shame. It’s all the same. You’re looking at Brooke through a pair of glasses someone else put on your face. Like I did once. I saw Nell the way I’d been taught to see. With cynicism and a belief that all people are basically the same. It took falling for that magnificent woman to get me to take them off. It’s hard when you think it’s the only way you can see.”
“You think I’m seeing Brooke wrong?” He knew the question sounded simple, but he got the complexity Henry was talking about. He hid his intelligence because anything he had when he was a child was something to be taken away. He qualified for AP classes and honor classes and his stepmother decided if he was so smart, he could get a part-time job that took up all his time to study. And then he had some money, so she made him pay rent.
That woman had fucked up his life.
“I think you’re protecting yourself and you think you might be protecting her. You’re wrong. Brooke is smart, and I believe she’s already figuring out that getting fired might have been a blessing in disguise. It’s hard to let go of something you’ve told yourself you wanted all your life. It’s damn near impossible to admit what you truly want is smaller and yet infinitely more. That what you want isn’t a job or a level of financial security. That what you want is a feeling.”
To be loved and appreciated. To know the work he did served the people he loved, and he had an unassailable place among them.