Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 133878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 669(@200wpm)___ 536(@250wpm)___ 446(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 133878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 669(@200wpm)___ 536(@250wpm)___ 446(@300wpm)
She was floored. “You have to talk to Bay about that.”
His head shook. “No, I don’t. If there’s one thing I know it’s where our priorities are, and they’re with you. We love you. We’ve waited all of our miserable lives for you. If you think we’re going to let you walk away, you’re wrong.”
“You can’t do this.” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You haven’t known me long enough to chuck your job for me. How would we even handle that financially?”
“I’ll get a job. Bay will work on commissions, and I’ll let Stef know he’s off the leash when it comes to promoting Bay. Up until now he’s wanted to stay out of the spotlight, but he’ll do what it takes to take care of his family.”
It was overwhelming. Could she ask them to do this for her? It didn’t make any sense.
Shane’s expression softened, and he stepped back into her space. He lowered his lips and kissed her forehead. “Hey, calm down, baby. You don’t have to do anything today. You need to take a deep breath, and when Bay gets back, we’ll sit down and talk. Or better yet we’ll get naked and talk because I think you’ll be more honest with me if my hands are on you.”
“It’s too soon,” she whispered. “But I can’t let this chance go. Do you understand what I’m saying to you? It’s not fair, but I have to pick myself this time.”
He seemed to consider her words. “Brooke, if you don’t want us, it’s okay. I mean it’s not and my fucking heart will break, but I won’t bother you anymore.”
This was her out.
And she should want it. She should keep them right where they were. A good time. A couple of wild weeks.
But it hadn’t been. Sure, the sex was crazy, but most of the moments she would remember had been sweet. Quiet and loving. She felt safe with them. She didn’t honestly feel the wild anxiety she sometimes got when she decided she was in love.
And yet she knew she was in love with them.
“I can’t be the reason you leave again,” she said quietly. “I don’t know when I’ll be back.”
“That wasn’t an answer.”
“I don’t know that I can give you one.” She was overwhelmed. Once again it felt like her life had flipped on a dime and she was left trying to pick which way to go.
She wanted them, but she wasn’t sure she should.
Why?
Tears filled her eyes because she didn’t want to make this decision. She wanted to float for a while, to be with them without having to think about changing their lives along with her own.
“Hush, baby.” He kissed her again. “Calm down. I can see your brain working, and it’s been too much. Do you want me to leave? I can give you time, but I can’t let you walk away unless you tell me it’s over.”
“I don’t want it to be over.” She wrapped her arms around him. “Maybe I don’t know what I want at all.”
But she did. She didn’t know if she should want it.
The fight with her brother weighed heavily on her. What Mark had said. Was moving to LA the right thing? She loved it here. She missed seeing Rachel and the kids, and she seemed so far from the brothers who had raised her.
She could breathe when his arms were around her.
“Baby, let me take you home. We can help Nell and Henry with the goats, and I’ll make us dinner and you and me and Bay will go to the playroom and you’ll feel so good. We’ll go to dinner at your brothers’ place this weekend and you’ll see that Rye didn’t mean shit. He loves you. He’s scared, and the world is changing.”
“It’s too fast.” Tears pierced her eyes, but she held on to him.
“I know, so we’re going to slow it all down and bring it back to you and me and Bay. No decisions. Just being together,” he promised. “We don’t have to talk about the future. We have some time before opening night. We won’t talk about the future at all until then. If you don’t want me to say it, I won’t. I won’t pressure you.”
She knew what he was offering. “I don’t want you to not say it.”
“Good,” he whispered. “Because I love you and not saying it doesn’t make that go away. I’m going to love you for the rest of my life. But we don’t have to deal with that today. All we have to do today is breathe and maybe deal with the dental health of goats.”
She laughed. He was so good at making her laugh, at making her let go of all the bad shit because she was safe with him and Bay.
“Okay,” she said quietly. “Let’s go back. But we’ll have to deal with it eventually.”