Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 76436 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76436 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
“Good. That’s what I like to hear,” Dr. Steel replies with a small smile.
“I believe we were discussing my potential emotional responses to the surgery,” I say, my tone now a touch icier. “You were suggesting that a negative outcome might lead to a breakdown, correct?”
“Not necessarily.”
“Let’s cut to the chase, then.” I clear my throat. “This hospital is state of the art, and Dr. Patel has privileges here. It is the closest hospital to my home, and the hospital where I began my surgical career. I want the surgery here.”
“Yes, I understand all that, but—”
“Please. Let me finish.”
She nods. “Of course. I’m here for you, Dr. Lansing.”
Right. She’s here for the hospital, not for me. “This is about money, and it’s about bad PR.”
“It’s about your well-being, Dr. Lansing.”
Yeah. That’s crap and we both know it.
“Please,” I say, doing my best not to roll my eyes. “It’s about a lot of things, but when it comes down to it, the board is mostly concerned about money and PR. So here’s my solution. I’ll sign a contract not to sue the hospital or issue any negative statements should the outcome of the surgery not be as expected.”
Dr. Steel eyes me for a moment, seemingly caught off guard. “Dr. Lansing,” she begins, her voice steady and measured, “I appreciate your willingness to cooperate and protect the hospital’s interests. But at the end of the day, my primary concern is your overall health.”
“I understand that,” I say quickly. “But what this boils down to is trust. My trust in the hospital and the world-class surgeons.”
“No.” She shakes her head. “My job here—what they’ve asked me to do—is to assess your mental health with regard to the experimental surgery. And I’m afraid a promise not to sue is not necessarily indicative of good mental health. In fact, it could very well indicate the opposite.”
I fall silent, stung by her words. I expected some objection, but the idea that my willingness to protect the hospital is somehow a reflection of poor mental health… What the fuck?
“You’re right,” I reply slowly, lying through my teeth. “Perhaps it’s not indicative of good mental health. But it is indicative of my determination and my desperation.”
Dr. Steel sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Life isn’t about making deals, especially when it comes to your health. This isn’t about contracts or promises or legalities. This is about you.”
“Yes! Now you’re making sense. This is exactly about me!” I pound a fist to my chest. “My life, my choices, my future!” I take a deep breath to gather myself before continuing more calmly. “And if signing away my right to complain or cause legal trouble gives me a shot at regaining what I’ve lost, then that’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
“I’m no lawyer,” she says, “but I’m fairly certain that in any experimental surgery, part of the informed consent that you sign will include a waiver in the consent process where the patient agrees not to hold doctors or hospitals liable for known risks of the procedure. These are of course not enforceable in the case of negligence or misconduct. And it certainly wouldn’t take away your right to sue in the case of gross negligence, fraud, or intentional misconduct.”
“But I’m willing to sign away those rights,” I say.
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath in. “And I’m telling you, Dr. Lansing, that it doesn’t make a difference. No court in the world will uphold an agreement if it’s deemed unconscionable or grossly unfair, which waiving your rights to sue in case of negligence or misconduct would certainly be.”
I sink back into my chair. “So what does all this mean?” I ask, struggling to keep the frustration out of my voice.
“It means,” she begins gently, “that we need to focus on your mental well-being first. We need to ensure that you’re mentally ready and strong enough to cope with any outcome from the surgery.”
“All right, then.”
She presses her lips together. “And after today, Dr. Lansing, I’m not sure you are.”
I flinch at her words as if I’ve been slapped. Her calm, steady gaze stings more than any outburst would.
“I want to help you,” she continues, “but I need you to be open with me. You need to be prepared for the worst while hoping for the best.”
Her words echo in my mind, yet they feel distant and unreal. Prepared for the worst. But what’s worse than waking up every day in this broken body? What’s worse than the fear that I’ll never regain what I’ve lost?
“I appreciate your candor, Dr. Steel,” I manage to say through gritted teeth. “I am aware of the risks, and I am prepared to face them.”
“Are you really, though?” She leans forward, her gaze searching mine. “Or are you just saying what you think I want to hear?”