Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 76436 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76436 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
“Then you need to be here, Angie,” I interrupt her. “You need to understand the physical in order to adequately address the mental. The mind and the body are naturally linked, and you can’t hope to heal one without understanding the other.”
My words surprise me.
I believe them wholeheartedly.
I just don’t believe psychiatry is the answer.
Angie stares at me for a moment before she nods. “You’re right,” she says quietly. “I’ll manage. It’s just… It’s a lot more real now than it was on paper.”
I smile, resisting the urge to give her a reassuring pat on her shoulder. “Don’t worry. You’ll get used to it. And remember, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes. That’s part of being human.”
She gives me a small smile, turns, and leaves the room.
I turn toward the wall to discreetly adjust my groin.
Fuck.
Chapter Three
Angie
I’ve been in medical school for a couple of months now, and I don’t feel close to anyone.
I’m okay with that.
I spend my days going to class, my evenings studying, and my weekends doing lab work and studying some more. Some of the students have outside jobs to pay for school. For the life of me, I don’t know how they do it. They must not sleep.
I spy Tabitha talking with Elijah Garrett, the guy in the back who seems hell-bent on cutting into his cadaver. I walk up to them cautiously.
“Hey, Angie,” Tabitha says. “Have you met Eli?”
“I don’t think so.” I hold out my hand.
Eli shakes it. “Tabitha’s been telling me you’re a little grossed out by all of this.”
I resist rolling my eyes. Great. Pretty soon the whole class will know I’m the one who is squeamish about cutting into dead bodies.
In a way, it doesn’t make any sense. I grew up on a ranch. My family raises cattle for food, and I enjoy steak as well as anyone. Especially those from my family’s ranch—the best beef in Colorado. Some say in the country.
Of course, cutting into a cooked piece of meat is a lot different from the body of a human corpse. It’s a lot harder to separate yourself from the situation when a dead person’s eyes are staring at you the whole time.
“Nice to meet you, Eli,” I say. I give Tabitha a side glance, my eyebrow raised ever so slightly.
She giggles, covering her mouth.
Eli just smiles, his eyes sparkling with amusement. He’s tall and thin, and his raven-black hair falls over his forehead, contrasting sharply with his pale complexion. He reminds me of Edward Scissorhands.
Ha!
Scissorhands who wants to cut.
“Looks like we’d better get back in there.” Eli gestures toward the crowd of students walking back in the lab room.
I nod and walk back into the room, trying not to stare at Dr. Lansing.
Jason.
Jason Lansing.
What a nice name.
Until a fresh wave of formaldehyde hits me. I swallow hard, trying to keep my stomach at bay. Around me, students chatter. Tabitha takes her place next to me, our cadaver still covered except for the exposed thoracic area.
“Okay, let’s get back to things,” Dr. Lansing says from the front of the room. “As you know, you won’t be cutting today.”
A big groan from Eli and a few others.
He holds a hand up. “This isn’t something you go into without your eyes being wide open and without your stomach being tough as nails.” He looks around the room, his gaze homing in on me.
Great.
“This isn’t for the faint of heart. If you can’t handle this”—he gestures to the sheeted forms on the tables—“then maybe it’s time to reconsider your career path.”
Seriously?
My eyes are wide as Jason stares straight at me. Again.
He just told me how I need to be here if I want to heal the physical and the mental.
Now I feel like he’s telling me to get the hell out.
I don’t look away.
No way will I let him scare me out of medical school.
He clears his throat. “Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s talk about what we’re dealing with here. Anatomy isn’t just about knowing what’s where. It’s also about understanding how everything works together. As we progress, we’ll look at how diseases affect these systems. You’re going to see firsthand how a lifetime of heavy smoking ravages the lungs, or how cirrhosis changes the liver. You’re going to see the effects of untreated diabetes on the eyes, kidneys, and blood vessels. You’re going to see what heart disease does to the arteries.”
I take a deep breath, trying to ignore the sharp smell of formaldehyde that seems to be embedded in my sinuses now. I glance over at Tabitha. Excitement is evident in her wide eyes.
Eli looks like he can’t wait to get his hands dirty. He’s clenching and unclenching his fists, his knuckles white against his fair skin.
“This is a serious undertaking,” Jason continues. “We’re not just studying anatomy. We’re studying the history of a person’s life, their choices, their circumstances, everything that led them to this moment. Our cadavers were not just specimens but human beings who lived, had experiences, felt joy and pain.”