Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 141428 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 707(@200wpm)___ 566(@250wpm)___ 471(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 141428 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 707(@200wpm)___ 566(@250wpm)___ 471(@300wpm)
“That motherfucker.”
“He’d never done that before. Never hit me. I’ve always hated violence. I’ve always tried to spread positivity and smiles, you know? Even in the face of Aaron’s meanness and my father’s drunkenness. But where has that gotten me? Nowhere.” She let out a bitter laugh that pulled at her cheek. That was weird. She couldn’t feel any pain, but it was super uncomfortable.
God. What did she look like?
Don’t think about it, Devi. You just have to get through this.
Right.
“I ran into my room and he followed me, he pushed me to the floor and started ripping up my room, searching for money. I was so angry. I was so sick of him pushing me around. So I picked up the baseball bat and jumped to my feet and hit him in the arm. I don’t know what I expected him to do, but I guess I wasn’t expecting him to scream and fall on the floor, claiming I’d broken his arm. I ran out of there, but when I opened the door there were four men there. They walked into the trailer, pushing me back.”
“What the fuck?” he snarled as he started pacing up and down the room.
Devi watched him warily. “Are you all right?”
“Am I all right? Am I all right? Devi . . .” He stilled and ran his fingers through his hair. “Yes, I’m all right. It’s you I’m worried about.”
“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be okay.” It was said automatically. She was so used to glossing over everything terrible in her life.
It had started when her mom got ill, then with the stuff at school, her father, her brother . . . God, was she honest with anyone?
“You will be. Because I’ll see to it,” he told her. “Not going to let anything bad happen to you again, Devi.”
It was a nice thought . . . but she knew that he couldn’t make certain of that. Bad things happened to people every day.
And she was lucky to be alive.
She guessed.
“They were with the Satan’s Sons. That’s who Derick owed money to. The dumb asshole.” A sob worked its way up her throat.
Devi pushed it back down. She had to be numb. There was no other way to survive this with her mind and sanity intact.
“When he couldn’t give them the money, they stabbed his leg. One leg. Then the other. They stuffed a bandana in his mouth, but he still screamed.”
“No one heard?” he asked. “No one called the cops or came to see what the screaming was about?”
“Ahh, see, you must live somewhere where people care about one another. Nobody in that trailer park wants to put their neck out for someone else. Especially not for Derick. The amount of late night parties and noise he makes, I don’t really blame them. And most people don’t trust the cops. Old Mr. Richards might have called the police, if he could hear anything. He’s extremely deaf and never wears his hearing aids. Anyway, no one came. And they dragged Derick out of there. I didn’t know what to do, I just thought that I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do something. So I gave Fury, who seemed to be in charge, my cash. The stuff I had saved for the exhibition. He took it, but said it wasn’t enough. As he was leaving, I grabbed his arm. I don’t know why. So stupid. So dumb.”
She’d relive that nightmare over and over again.
“You are not dumb or stupid and this is in no way your fault. Understand?” He gripped her chin gently. “Do not blame yourself for this. You are not responsible for what other people do.”
“But if I hadn’t grabbed him, if I’d just let him go, he’d have left without hurting me.”
“You don’t know that, baby. Sounds like he was looking for an excuse. Someone doesn’t get that violent just because their arm is grabbed. Not unless they’re on something.”
“That could be a possibility,” she said.
“He likely planned to do it anyway. This wasn’t your fault.”
Maybe. She wasn’t sure that would help with the nightmares. She also felt bad about not telling him about Vega. But she didn’t want Hayes to go after him. It would be best to just pretend he didn’t exist.
“I don’t know why I’m worried about Derick. He was such a fucking dick. He doesn’t deserve anything from me. I should be . . . I should be glad that he’s likely dead. That he’s hurting, right? Glad . . . I should be glad . . .”
“It’s okay to feel mixed emotions,” he told her. “He hurt you. He was abusive. I don’t just mean how he hit you, but he was neglectful, emotionally abusive. But I understand it’s hard. He’s someone you should love. He’s your blood. And before your mom died, he might have even been a decent dad.”