Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 141428 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 707(@200wpm)___ 566(@250wpm)___ 471(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 141428 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 707(@200wpm)___ 566(@250wpm)___ 471(@300wpm)
He’d nearly lost his mind when he’d gotten to the trailer and she wasn’t there . . . and then there was the blood.
Fuck. So much blood.
He wasn’t squeamish. He’d been a SEAL, he’d seen a lot over those years and yet none of that had ever made him panic or want to hurl.
Or punch a hole in a trailer wall. He’d have to fix that. Although that trailer was already in a bad state.
You cannot go in there like this.
This wasn’t him. He never reacted this . . . strongly to anything anymore.
Because you don’t let yourself care about anyone.
But you care about her.
Shit.
He didn’t want to have feelings for her. He didn’t think he could go through losing someone he cared about again.
Losing May had ruined him.
Didn’t take you for a coward.
May’s voice filtered through his head.
“I am, though, May,” he whispered. “I was scared to go on without you. I closed myself off so I could just get through day to day. And now . . .”
You met her.
Yeah. He had. And it was a betrayal of what he’d felt for May.
Don’t be stupid.
He had to smile at those words. They were something May would definitely say.
You wasting your life . . . that would make me mad. You finding someone to love. Never . . .
Hayes sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. He wished that he really could talk to May instead of this figment of his imagination. But May was gone and he was simply trying to justify letting himself feel something for this girl.
Fuck!
He stared down at his clenched fists. He hated that she’d been harmed. That he hadn’t been there to protect her.
Just like before.
No. He couldn’t do this again. However, that didn’t mean he could just walk away without checking on her.
What if she was in real danger?
God. He hated this.
There was a part of him that wanted to take her safely home with him and keep her there, locked up in his bedroom, where nothing could get to her.
“Just go in there. Check on her. Make sure she’s all right. Then . . . leave. You still have a job to do.”
Right. He had a plan. He was sticking to it. He wasn’t going to fall for this girl. She wasn’t his responsibility.
In. And out.
He got out of his vehicle. It was getting lighter out and he hadn’t slept at all. But there was no time for that. Donovan messaged as he walked to the doors.
Donovan: Stein is being charged. He’ll be up in front of a judge today. Cops aren’t happy that he claims he doesn’t know who paid him.
Hayes clenched his jaw. He wasn’t happy about that either. There had to be more he could do to help Rohan.
Not that it’s your problem.
But, fuck, he hated the injustice of it. Mostly for Devi’s sake. Although Rohan was in a gang so maybe she’d be better off without him in her life.
Hayes: Webb is watching Sondra. Devi is in hospital. Will let you know more details soon.
He stepped up to the desk in the hospital.
“Hayes.” Turning, he saw Honey. “Come on, this way.”
“How is she?” he asked
She sighed as they walked into a private waiting room. Ammo was in there. Where was Zander?
“She’s in with the doctor now,” Honey told him. “They’re going to take her into surgery.”
“Surgery? What the fuck happened?” he demanded. “What caused all that blood?”
Calm down.
Like fuck. He didn’t want to calm down.
Zander walked in wearing just a T-shirt and there was a suspicious stain on his jeans.
“What. The. Fuck. Happened.”
“See? Told you he would lose his mind,” Honey crowed to Ammo, who just shook his head and handed her twenty bucks.
“I am not losing my mind,” he managed to say calmly.
Well, sort of calmly.
“I simply want you all to stop giving me the run-around and tell me what the fuck is going on!”
All right, so he might be getting a bit loud. But he was not losing his mind.
Nope. Not him.
“Easiest twenty bucks I ever won,” Honey said gleefully.
“Is this funny to you all?” he asked in a low voice. “I walked into that trailer to find stuff smashed, blood on the floor, and no Devi. Is it any wonder that I’m upset.”
Honey grimaced. “Fuck. You’re right. Sorry.”
“It’s our way of coping, man,” Ammo said. “Sometimes you see such bad shit that it’s joke or lose your mind. But there was nothing funny about what happened to Devi. “
“Nothing at all. In fact, when you decide to go hunting for the scum that hurt her, we will all be coming with you,” Zander told him as Honey handed the twenty dollars back.
He didn’t mean to make her feel bad. Hayes understood that terrible things could change you, haunt you, unless you found a way to cope.