Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 75547 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75547 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Lana blinks, just once, like I said something she didn’t expect. “He stopped?”
I nod, hating how my throat tightens. “It just isn’t us. We’re friends.” I shake my head trying to shake off how ridiculous I feel.
“Honey, Pretty Boy doesn’t have female friends. He has brothers, he has family, he has fuck buddies. He doesn’t have what you’re describing.”
I don’t answer. Her eyes go softer again, and I have a sliver of the sense that the messy bun and the red nails hide their own shrapnel. She taps the desk in a little rhythm, thinking, then says, “Look. I’ll give it to you straight because no one did for me when I was in your place. Pretty Boy is the best at what he does in bed. I mean it, the absolute best you’ll ever have. But he doesn’t do more. He won’t lie. He won’t pretend he’s gonna build a fence and plant tomatoes with you. He keeps his boots by the door. He’s… loyal to his brothers. That space inside him? It’s for the club and there isn’t room for anyone that isn’t family to him.”
My pulse thunders in my neck. I don’t know what to say. “He uses women. And you’re telling me this why? I told you we don’t have that.”
“I’m not saying that,” she says, and her voice loses its teasing. “I’m saying he’ll be honest. If he wants you, he’ll want you hard and he won’t make small promises to keep you. He’ll take but he’ll give.” She nudges my elbow with a painted nail. “That said? Women like to think they’re the one who’s gonna change a man. Don’t do that to yourself. Take him as he is. Decide if you want it.” Her lips tilt. “Also, if you do decide you want it, take an Advil. You’ll thank me the next day.”
A laugh kicks out of me, half shock, half nerves. It feels like a balloon let go of a tight knot. Then the jealousy slides in under it, a cold coil. “How long were you with him?”
She shrugs. “A while. Off and on, like I said. He never promised me anything he didn’t deliver. That’s rare.” She straightens, the moment shifting back from confessional to gossip column. “So. He’s picking you up?”
I nod.
“Tell him Lana says he still owes me a new rosary,” she says, amused. “We broke mine when he tied my hands together with it. He had me crying out to Heaven that night for sure.” She waves and glides away before I can decide whether I hate her or want to follow her into the parking lot and ask for a manual.
I’m still staring at the empty space where she stood when Trina reappears with a stack of clean towels. She clocks my face in one glance, then angles her body to block me from the rest of the room. “You look like someone just put vinegar in your honey.”
“Do you know a Lana?” I ask, voice low.
Trina’s mouth does a shape that is not quite a smile. “We’ve met.”
“She said,” I swallow. This is so petty. I sound like a teenager. I’ve already started might as well finish. “She said Kellum’s the best sex of your life. But he’ll never commit.”
Trina folds a towel with practiced precision. “Both are true.” Then softly, “or neither. One day there will be someone to top him in bed and one day there will be a woman to tame the wild side to Pretty Boy.”
“I feel stupid,” I confess. The words tumble faster now, tripping over each other. “Jealous, which is dumb because he and I haven’t even, and I want him, and I also want to not want him so I don’t turn into a version of myself I hate. And I feel like she knows a club I don’t have the password to and she was telling me I’m not on the list.”
Trina leans her hip on the counter, eyes kind and sharp. “That’s a lot of feelings before lunch.”
“I know.” I press fingers to my temples. “I just… is there something wrong with me that no one wants me?” The last words come out before I can stop them and hang there, ugly and true. “Not my ex, and not him.”
Trina’s gaze warms and cools at once. “Your ex didn’t want anyone. He wanted everyone. And Kellum—” She huffs. “Kellum’s a complicated man. But I haven’t seen him do for anyone what he’s doing for you.”
My face scrunches. “What do you mean?”
“Kristen,” she whispers softly, “he gave you a key.”
The sentence lands square. I feel it everywhere. “A key,” I repeat, like maybe the word itself can steady me.
Trina nods. “A key. He doesn’t do that. He doesn’t let women sleep over. Ever. And if Lana wants to measure you up she’s picked the wrong one. Different people, different math. She’s not in your league. I don’t know what goes on with you two privately. Not my business. I will tell you, though, Kellum is blunt, brash, and brutal at times. He respects directness. Don’t play games, don’t get caught up in anything said by anyone but him. His word is as solid as it comes even when the truth stings he gives it straight. You want more out of this, talk to him. That’s the best advice I can give you.”