Total pages in book: 127
Estimated words: 120186 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 601(@200wpm)___ 481(@250wpm)___ 401(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 120186 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 601(@200wpm)___ 481(@250wpm)___ 401(@300wpm)
His jaw twitches and his eyes narrow. “Go ahead. What else do you think?”
“Forget it,” I snap. “I fucking hate you for this. Why did you do it? You could’ve told me! You could have deleted them.”
“It wasn’t up to me.”
“Oh, sure.” I nod slowly. “Because all of a sudden, you care about Roman’s orders. And now he’s been dead for weeks. Why don’t we just say what really happened? You decided you wanted to torture me with these someday. Use them against me. Congratulations. You got what you wanted. I hope it makes you very happy.”
“What if it did?”
“Then you’re even sicker and sadder than I thought, which is saying something.” When I look at him, I can’t remember why I ever wanted him. Maybe I’m as twisted as he is. That has to be it.
“Anything else?” He has the nerve to hold his hands out, curling his fingers inward like he’s asking for more. “Get it out of your system. Tell me what a rotten piece of shit I am.”
“What, is that your kink or something?”
“What if it is?” He gives me a wicked grin that tells me I’m wasting my breath, but then I knew that, didn’t I? I knew there was a damn good chance he wasn’t going to pay any attention. “Maybe you’re getting me hard right now.”
“Because that’s all you fucking care about. I can’t even look at you.” I turn my back. Just looking into his face and getting nothing but his sarcastic little smirk is breaking my heart. What’s left of it, anyway. “You know what the worst part is? I honestly thought you were better than this.”
“Spare me the lecture,” he sighs.
“It’s not a lecture.” No, do not cry. Don’t give him that satisfaction. Dammit, I can’t help it. My throat goes tight, and my eyes burn. “I thought I saw something better in you, I really did. Was that all a lie? Did you ever care about me?”
“Oh, now I’m really glad I showed up tonight.” When I look in the mirror, I watch him lean against my desk and fold his arms. “Now you’re going to pretend you ever gave a shit about me. Where was all this emotion when you got engaged to someone else?”
“Are you serious?” He looks like it in his reflection. No more smirking.
“As a lamp to the head,” he growls.
Because of course, he would have to throw that in my face.
“You’re the one who decided we were over so you could put another guy’s ring on your hand. Don’t deny it. Though I think you’re going to need a replacement now.”
Is that what he thinks happened? How could he be so blind? “I told you it wasn’t like that. I meant it.”
“Yeah, sure. Easy to say.”
“It was the truth!” Now I can’t help it. It’s all too much. Tears fill my eyes. He goes blurry in front of me. I knuckle them away, pissed off at him, pissed off at myself. “If you didn’t want to believe me, that’s your problem. I didn’t choose him.” I can’t even say his name. I don’t even like to think it. When I do, I see him in front of me again. I go right back to the moment when he started squeezing my throat.
I touch a hand to it—still sore, a constant reminder that I guess will eventually feel better. But the memory is always going to be fresh. It won’t fade like a bruise.
For once, he keeps his mouth shut. “I begged Mom,” I whisper. “Begged her to get me out of it. I never wanted to marry him. But she needed me to.”
“Why?”
“None of your business.”
“Why?” he growls. There’s a dark look on his face that might scare me if I hadn’t already looked into the eyes of the devil.
“For the money,” I throw my hands out to the sides, watching surprise touch his reflection and soften his sharp stare. “Happy? We needed the money. Mom arranged it. I never even met him before she gave me the ring. That’s the truth. I don’t give a shit if you believe it or not. And I feel like between Roman and your brothers, you already knew all of this. Why are you making me drag it out now?”
His eyes narrow and his jaw sets, and it’s all the answer I need, but I’ve burst the dam and can’t stop.
“The ranch is in debt.” It feels disloyal to admit that out loud, but then my own mother tried to sell me in marriage, so fuck loyalty. “She needed the marriage to go through. She told me…”
Pride lodges a lump in my throat. God, I’m so ashamed. I know deep down inside I have nothing to be ashamed of, but I still feel dirty when I think about it. “She said the ranch would go under. I was the only one who could save it. Otherwise, everybody loses their jobs, we lose the land, we lose everything. What was I supposed to do? Nothing I said mattered. I begged her, Kade. I even told her… I told her…” I can’t do this anymore. It hurts too much. I drop to the bed in exhaustion, sitting with my hands over my face. “I knew the kind of person he was. I saw it. He showed me. And she acted like I was overreacting. She didn’t want to hear it.”