Total pages in book: 127
Estimated words: 120186 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 601(@200wpm)___ 481(@250wpm)___ 401(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 120186 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 601(@200wpm)___ 481(@250wpm)___ 401(@300wpm)
Holy. Fucking. Shit. That’s what she thinks I’m worried about? What Jackson will do? Is she that deluded?
“You don’t actually believe the reason I’m upset has anything to do with Jackson and our stupid wedding, do you?”
She sits on the edge of the bed, and I shift a little farther away. “Yes. With the way you’re acting, you would think I’ve ruined your life.”
Ruined? I wouldn’t say that. “My reaction has nothing to do with him or the wedding. It has to do with the fact that you kept this secret from me my whole life.”
“It had nothing to do with you. I kept it a secret because I didn’t have an option.”
“I don’t believe you!” I sit up and throw back the covers. “You say it has nothing to do with me, but it affects me. Every choice you make affects me. It also makes me wonder what other things you’ve lied about, what other secrets you might be hiding.”
“I don’t have to tell you every single thing that happens in my life, Allie. I’m the parent here. I decide what needs to be shared.”
“And you don’t think knowing I have a brother is something that should be shared?” All I can do is shake my head in disappointment.
“I should have told you, but I couldn’t. I was trying to protect Kade. Everything I did was to protect him.”
“Did you? Or did you do it to protect yourself?”
“I didn’t have an option,” she snaps, loud enough to make me jump.
How did I not notice the deep circles around her eyes? How pale her skin is? She looks like she hasn’t slept in days.
“Roman threatened me. He swore that if I ever told Kade or anyone else the truth, he would destroy me. He would take away everything that mattered to me before turning the ranch to ash, and because of how dangerous and powerful he was, I believed him.” She lets out a shaky breath, and her body sags like a deflating tire. “I wanted to tell him, to tell everyone, but I couldn’t. Roman had everyone in his pocket. I learned that the hard way when I first tried leaving him after finding out I was pregnant. His reach was massive, and no one would help me. No one wanted to defy him and risk his wrath.”
Holy shit. I knew from the things Kade told me that Roman was a real bastard. But this is like something out of an old western. “Why did you sleep with him in the first place?” This is not a conversation I want to have with my mom, but I need to know. There have been too many secrets for far too long. Too many mistakes already.
Her smile is bitter. “I can hardly remember anymore. He dazzled me. He didn’t even really want me, honestly. He only pursued me because I was unattainable and he liked the challenge.” The lines around her mouth deepen as she scowls. “Then I found out who he truly was. Controlling. Manipulative. Insanely possessive. He told me I belonged to him. I wasn’t his wife, but I belonged to him, like his cattle and his horses. I... I thought I knew him.”
I can identify with that because I thought I knew Kade, too. Then he showed me who he really is. He even taunted me and made all of this seem even more disgusting and shameful than it is, because he knew it would hurt me.
A single tear runs down her cheek, and she wipes it away with a grunt, like she’s angry at it. “All these years, I’ve had to watch him from a distance. Knowing he was mine and wanting to claim him. I was terrified Roman would make good on his promise. And then there was you,” she adds. “What if he decided to use you to hurt me? I couldn’t take the risk.”
I believe her. I’m still angry, and I still feel betrayed, but I believe her. And I have no doubt Roman would have used me to get back at her. Because it’s the kind of thing Kade would do, and Kade is just like his father, and I think he knows it.
“When I found out Roman was dead,” she concludes with a sigh, “I thought I might try to build some sort of relationship with Kade, but he’s too angry and bitter for that right now.”
“I understand why you kept it a secret, but I still wish I had found out from you and not Kade.” I ignore the way my heart clenches inside my chest. “Now, please tell me there aren’t any other dark family secrets I’m going to discover by accident,” I say it more as a joke, but my mom looks down at her hands, her chin tucked, and I know. No. No. I can’t do this.