Total pages in book: 127
Estimated words: 120186 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 601(@200wpm)___ 481(@250wpm)___ 401(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 120186 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 601(@200wpm)___ 481(@250wpm)___ 401(@300wpm)
“Of course not, darling.” He clips every word, then shrugs my touch off gently and heads out.
He leaves, but I can’t go yet. I need to catch my breath. I lean against the bar’s brass rail and tremble now that he’s out of sight. That was a lot. The way he grabbed that girl like she owed him something. His whole attitude. A darkness hides under his handsome exterior.
I’m supposed to marry that? I’m supposed to make a family with that?
Of course, my stupid brain decides now is the perfect time to think about Kade. Would we still be together now if I had let him make our relationship public? The thought makes my chest ache. What type of husband would Kade be? Not helpful, brain. He’s not even an option. And he’ll never want me again after how I treated him. The other night was a threat, and I’m not naive enough to think he actually wanted me.
But even though Kade is rough and brutal, there’s goodness in him. I’ve seen it, I’ve felt it, and that’s why it’s so hard to let go, especially when everything in my life is fake and cold. It’s my own fault, though. I did this to us. To myself.
Pulling myself together, I close my eyes and take a couple of calming breaths. I need to get back to the table. I don’t want to give Mom a reason to bitch at me all the way home. Blinking my eyes open, I roll my shoulders back, lift my chin, and march out to the dining room.
Can’t change what’s already been done.
“You did well, minus your little incident.” Mom is in a good mood when we walk into the house, but I’m sure all the wine she drank at dinner has more to do with that than me. “Joseph was even impressed by you. He’s thrilled to have you join his family.”
Something tells me anything with tits could impress him, but I’ll take the compliment and pretend to be grateful. So long as she goes to bed and leaves me alone to decompress.
“Yeah, glad it all went well. I’m heading up,” I say, not even looking at her. If she looked in my eyes right now, she’d see how dead I feel inside, and that would only lead to more lies. And I can’t handle that right now. I need to get out.
I need to feel music, talk to people, and have them actually listen when I speak.
My feet are heavy as I climb the stairs, but it’s such a relief to get out of the stupid dress that I all but jog the rest of the way to my bedroom. Once inside, I tear the fabric from my body and slide into a pair of jeans and a sweater. I sigh, finally feeling like myself again.
Maybe I’m hoping I’ll run into Kade while I’m out. I can’t help wanting him like I do, especially when my entire loveless, empty future is spelled out.
I need to see him and know he’s okay. The Black Hollow Creek Gazette reported that he got into a fight at the bar last night, and one of his brothers had to bail him out this morning. I don’t usually read the gossip rag disguised as news for the town, but the Bishop name caught my eye.
I doubt he would show his face at The Rusty Nail so soon after getting carted off to jail, but if I’ve learned anything about Kade, he does things just because he fucking can. A sense of freedom fills me once I’m back outside and punching my fists through the sleeves of my leather jacket. I don’t have to put on a fake smile anymore tonight. I even have to stretch out my jaw as I drive—the muscles actually cramp up.
The Rusty Nail is busy tonight, but then again, it’s busy most nights. I don’t waste time heading inside once I’ve parked between a pair of mud-spattered pickups. I need this. To be around life and laughter after all that fake bullshit from earlier. The strain of pretending to be interested and involved is exhausting. And I’m sure it will only get worse as we get closer to the wedding. It’s one of the many motivators to help me find a way out of this mess.
The sight of Buck sitting at the bar makes my heart swell. I’m a split second from rushing over to him before I remember he got fired. Shit. He might not want to see me.
When his tanned face turns my way, I know I have nothing to worry about. His familiar smile is just what I needed, and I feel lighter than I have all day as I hurry over into his open arms. “Miss Allie.” His voice is just as deep and gravelly as ever. “And here I was, thinkin’ nothin’ good could happen tonight.”