Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 121008 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 605(@200wpm)___ 484(@250wpm)___ 403(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121008 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 605(@200wpm)___ 484(@250wpm)___ 403(@300wpm)
Cian’s spine straightens. “We’ll make sure she’s got nothing to be afraid of, then.”
“Go, make yourself presentable for our wife. I’ll find us something for dinner.” I’m grinning as I change the sheets on the bed and straighten up the room we’ll share with our wife. Out of the back window, I see Cian hurrying down the path to the pond. It’s been a long, long while since I saw my brother move so quickly.
As happy as I am, getting married also brings about a range of problems. I’m going to have to figure out a way to bring in some steady income because I don’t want Meg to feel she has to keep the house. She’s a bondmate, not a housewife. I’ve made up my mind to talk to Dante about the situation. Susan Dellacourt told me she’s always interested in my services. The vampire companies have long-reaching arms and always have some strange security problem clogging up the roads of trade. I might be able to make decent money that way.
In the back of my mind, I know once word gets out that Cian and I have bonded, the loyalists will come calling. They’ll offer me a lot to lead the attempt to reclaim Tír na nÒg. They will come, and the pressure will be on. I’ll have a decision to make, and now it doesn’t seem like a clear one.
Once I would have done anything to get the chance to avenge my father. Am I willing to risk Meg? For the first time since I was seventeen, it seems that I might have a future. It will be a very different one than I was raised for, but it’s mine. I can have a good life with Meg and Cian, and eventually our children. All of that could be lost if I gamble our lives on taking back the crown.
I shake off the dark thoughts. It’s a worry for another day. Today I need to feed them, and that’s all that matters. I hope Cian hasn’t managed to kill all our chickens while he was busy fading. I walk out the back and down to the chicken coop where I select a particularly healthy hen.
The hen is big and will make a good meal. The day might have started rough, but if it ends with a full belly and a warm bed, I’ll call it perfect.
Chapter Fourteen
Cian
The cold water shakes the cobwebs out of my mind with a teeth-jarring shock. I take a deep breath and force myself to go under, the chill prickling along my skin.
I need to think clearly. I can’t give in to the chaos that swirls through me constantly now.
It’s been almost impossible lately. The thoughts in my head come and go like butterflies flitting in and out. I can’t catch them and I can’t keep them. They’re too fast. A thought will come, and I’ll get excited because I know how to fix some of the problems we’ve been having around the farm. I’ll start to follow through on it, and then I’m standing somewhere wondering exactly how I got here.
A little like now.
I can’t talk about it with my brother. Beck has his own problems. He doesn’t need to worry about his little brother’s failing brain, but it’s becoming something I can’t hide. Even if I try to conceal my problems, I’ll forget what I’m trying to do. It’s easier when Beck is around to ground me. When my brother is in close proximity, I’m able to focus for longer periods of time.
I break the surface of the water and sure enough the panic is back. Where am I? Why is it so cold? Terror threatens to take over. I don’t know where I am. I was in bed. I was in our brugh in bed. Slow down. I take a deep breath and banish the fear. Fear won’t fix the problem. It will only make me look like a fool, and then Father will be angry with me.
I can solve this through logic. Like my teachers have trained me. I seem to be swimming.
Where is my sister? Bron loves to swim, but she isn’t allowed to go alone. Since Beck is always training, always following our father, I’m the one who takes our sister swimming. Where is Bron? I’m supposed to look after her.
No. I’m bathing, and my father is dead. My head aches as much as my heart as I process the loss like it happened yesterday. Bronwyn is dead, and so is our mother. They’ve been gone a long time. Uncle Torin killed them and took our father’s throne. Beck and I are outcasts. Yes, I remember that part. I’m not a child anymore. I’m a man. I have to act like one.
I look down at the soap in my hand and decide that as long as I’m here, I should clean up. I feel grungy. I think I’ve been sick. I was in bed for a long time. It seemed like a smart thing to do. The big bed is a familiar place. I always know where I am when I’m in bed. Even if I get lost in memory, the bed is safe.