Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 69945 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 350(@200wpm)___ 280(@250wpm)___ 233(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69945 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 350(@200wpm)___ 280(@250wpm)___ 233(@300wpm)
I couldn’t tell him, so I kissed him instead. He cupped my face, holding me to him as our tongues tangled. He moved closer to the edge of the counter, wrapping his legs around my waist, as we both fell into the kiss. It grew hard and rough; the way he wanted me to fuck him.
I wanted him so badly, but I shouldn’t. I wasn’t right for him. He belonged in the light, not in the darkness.
There was one more thing I could tell him, one thing that might finally push him away. I ended the kiss and stepped back.
He frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“There are still things I haven’t told you.”
“Okay, look, you’re an assassin. You’re in a mafia family. You were married to the woman that’s after me. She’s a terrible person. She almost killed you. That’s a lot already, and none of it has mattered to me. It’s probably because I’ve lost my mind or something, but it’s not going to make me stop wanting you.”
“This might.”
He tensed. “Then don’t tell me.”
“You need to know. And, fuck, I need to confess it.”
“Is this something else you’ve not told your sons?”
“This is something I’ve not told anyone.”
“Why tell me now?” The wariness in his eyes was painful to see.
“You deserve to truly understand the man that I am. You should know this before you trust me with your life.”
“I already trust you with my life, with everything. You would have done anything to save me the other night. You put yourself at risk even when I told you not to, and—”
I held up my hand. “Please listen.” Thankfully, he stopped speaking. If he’d kept going, I might never have revealed the secret I’d held for so long. I drew in a deep breath. My stomach was in a knot, and my throat was so tight I could barely swallow. I’d kept this secret locked deep inside, but it was time to bring it to the light.
“I told you that when Lisa first appeared as I stood waiting for the man I was hunting, I thought she’d been kidnapped.”
Corey nodded. “That’s right.”
“I lied to you. For years afterward, I lied to myself. I knew the moment I saw her that I’d been deceived. She carried herself differently, and when she smiled at me, she wasn’t relieved, she was triumphant. I realized immediately that she’d set a trap for me. I had my gun in my hand. I’m fast, and I’m exact. I had the opportunity to kill her, but I hesitated. She was my fucking wife. I didn’t love her, but….”
“You’d been married to her for several years. You lived together. Of course, you hesitated to take a kill shot.”
I wasn’t sure if his understanding was better or worse than the anger I’d expected. “I was an idiot, and I almost died because of it, and now, look what she’s done. It’s my fault you’re in this situation.”
Corey shook his head. “No. She manipulated you.”
“People don’t manipulate me. I’m the manipulator.”
“Dom, you can’t blame yourself for this. You’re human; you reacted in a human way.”
“I was trained to be a killing machine. My humanity shouldn’t have gotten in the way.”
“You can’t live your whole life without making mistakes.”
“I don’t accept mistakes from those who work for me, and I sure as hell don’t accept them from myself.”
He slumped, his gaze looking down at his lap. “If you believe that, you’re never going to be able to fully trust yourself or to fully be happy.”
My chest ached. I didn’t want to upset him, but I had to do what was best. “I’ve always focused on survival. Happiness wasn’t meant for people in my position. I was taught to be a weapon, and that’s what I was until the moment I hesitated.”
He raised his head, eyes suddenly fierce. “Do you really think I won’t trust you because I’ll worry that you’ll hesitate again?”
I turned away as tears burned my eyes. I hadn’t cried when I was in the burn unit, and I wasn’t going to cry now. I braced myself against the sink and looked out at the night.
“Come away from the window,” Corey said. “Lisa or one of her men could be out there again.”
“If she came herself, she’d do her best to ram her way through the front door and confront me. She wouldn’t hide out there, not now that she’s announced herself.”
When I didn’t move, Corey came to join me, pressing himself against my back and wrapping his arms around me. I looked down as he toyed with the ties of my robe. “You don’t have to cover yourself up. You can be exactly who you are with me.”
He was talking about more than physical nakedness, but he was wrong. I couldn’t be myself with him. I was a weapon, a monster, someone cruel who could torture a person until they begged to be killed. Corey didn’t deserve to see that kind of darkness. He shouldn’t even be near it, and yet when I touched him, when I felt him hard against me, when I pushed into his willing body, I felt more pleasure than I ever had before. Sex with him was more than just fucking. It filled my soul. What would I do when Lisa was dead, the trial was passed, and Corey left? Would I ever feel pleasure again?