Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 85029 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 425(@200wpm)___ 340(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85029 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 425(@200wpm)___ 340(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
“I want you to know,” I say, my voice low and my eyes locked with hers, “that I really mean that. Whatever you need, Syrsee. It’s yours. And while the trip is a good way to start making up for what I’ve turned you into—”
“What you’ve turned me into?” She’s pointing at herself. “Ryet, I’m the one who did this to you.”
But I’m shaking my head no. It wasn’t her who did this, it was Paul. But I’m not in the mood to discuss Paul right now, so I just finish my sentiment. “This trip is just the start, Syrsee. If you have to be a slave to my hunger, then I have to be a slave to your happiness. Whatever you need, I will provide it.”
We stare at each other for a long moment, simply looking into each other’s eyes. Is she searching for truth? Is she condemning me to Hell? Is she thinking… He’s manipulating me. He’s evil and so are all his promises?
Because that’s what I would be thinking if it were me in her place and Paul in mine. I would be thinking, Lies. He is nothing but lies.
Syrsee comes around the counter and walks right up to me until we are so close, she has to look up to meet my gaze. Her arms drape around my neck, sending chills down my spine, and then she leans up on her tiptoes and kisses me.
It’s a small kiss. There’s no tongue and we don’t really linger. So when she pulls back I ask, “What was that for?”
“For… being patient with me this afternoon as I was freaking out.”
“To be fair”—I let out a breath—“you have every reason in the world to freak out about what’s happening to us.”
“To us,” she says. “That’s the thing I was forgetting. It’s not happening to me, it’s not happening to you, it’s happening to us. I like you, Ryet. And if I wasn’t stuck with you for the rest of my life, that’s all I would be thinking about. How I would love to be stuck with you for the rest of my life. How could I stick you to me? That’s the question I would be asking myself.” She pauses, like she’s trying to come up with the right words to express her thoughts. “It’s like… a soulmate bond. Something very romantic in the movies. Two people forced into being a team due to forces beyond their control.”
“Who fall in love despite their differences,” I add.
And this makes her smile. She might even, for a moment, be happy. “They fall in love despite their differences, and then overcome great challenges. Which only makes their bond stronger.”
“And by the end, they’re dying to die for each other.”
She laughs. And it’s a real laugh. “Yeah. That.”
“Well, I would like to go on record that I’m truly sorry for stealing your happiness, Syrsee. If it were up to me, I would set you free. I would die for you.”
“Please don’t do that.” She reaches up and places a hand on my cheek. “For real, Ryet. Please, please don’t die for me. Please don’t leave me alone in this stupid, evil, unfair world.”
Is it magic? Have I somehow… done something to influence her feelings? Because this is what I wanted. Syrsee, desperately in love with me.
And now here she is, and… I sigh. “I promise. I won’t die for you unless it’s absolutely necessary. But let’s not romanticize this, OK? Let’s keep it real. This is important to me. I need to feel like this is real because so much of my life has been a lie.”
“Well, I can certainly relate to that.”
“Your hesitations about me, us, all of it—they were completely justified. I’m never going to stop wanting your blood. I’m always gonna crave your blood. And this need of mine, it’s a physical thing.”
She sucks in a breath and presses her lips together, like she’s trying to be brave. “I understand. But… what if you craved… kissing me?”
“What?”
“What if you craved… complimenting me?”
I smile down at her, feeling a new lightness in my heavy soul. And this lightness, once again, takes me back to that night outside the diner. When the snow was fresh, and her smile was new, and even though we had no idea where this was going, it was still good.
She doesn’t have to do this. She doesn’t have to ease my guilt. But that is what she’s trying to do. And this is a gift I don’t think I will be able to repay. Not because I don’t want to, but because there is nothing I could give her that would compare to the blood she’s giving me. There is no way for me to even out this debt I’m incurring. And she has every right to resent me for this eternal disparity that began, pretty much, the day we met. “It’s a small thing, Syrsee. Craving your lips and calling you pretty.”