Total pages in book: 46
Estimated words: 43402 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 217(@200wpm)___ 174(@250wpm)___ 145(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 43402 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 217(@200wpm)___ 174(@250wpm)___ 145(@300wpm)
“Dad …”
He turns his head, eyes soft and tired but clear. “Love’s precious, Liv. I’d give anything to have just one more hour with your momma.”
I sigh and sink into the couch. “I never said I was in love.”
He smiles, that slow, knowing grin that’s all too familiar. “You never said you weren’t.”
I blow out a heavy breath, puffing my bangs up. He chuckles quietly at my exasperation.
“Fine,” I mutter. “If he calls again, I’ll answer,” even as I answer him, I’m praying that Blade doesn’t call. Sadly, I barely get the words out before the phone rings.
Dad bursts out laughing. “Talk about good timing,” he jokes.
“Don’t start,” I mutter, sticking my tongue out at him, which only makes him laugh harder. I stand, shaking my head, and walk toward the kitchen as I swipe to answer. “Don’t you have a party to go to?” I bark at Blade.
“I was kind of hoping you’d come with me,” Blade says, his voice low, edged with something that sounds like disappointment.
“I already told you no,” I say, leaning against the counter. “I’m not sure why you’re still pushing.”
“I’m not pushing, Usdi,” he says softly. “I just want you with me.”
“I don’t want to go. What I don’t like even more is being made to feel guilty—or being called judgmental—for choosing not to go.”
“Livy—”
“Listen, Blade.” My throat tightens, but I keep my voice steady. “Maybe you need a different woman. I get it. I’m home tonight taking care of my father, and you want to go to a party. Maybe this is just us realizing we’re different people. And that’s okay.”
“You’re wrong,” he says, voice rougher now.
“Maybe,” I respond, but even I hear the doubt in my voice. I close my eyes. “Have fun, Blade. Tell Bear and Ayi hi for me.” Before he can answer, I hit end.
For a second, I just stand completely still, phone in my hand, feeling the sting of my tears behind my eyes. I refuse to cry. Instead, I set the phone down on the counter and take a deep breath.
The phone rings again.
“Please stop calling,” I say sharply as I answer.
“Wow,” comes a familiar laugh. “And here I thought you liked me.”
I blink. “Ayi?”
“The one and only. You thought I was Blade again, didn’t you?”
“Yeah,” I admit, sinking into a seat at the breakfast bar, glad that Dad seems to be engrossed in his television show. “Sorry.”
“Is he still trying to get you to come to the party?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you tell him why you don’t want to go?”
I rub my forehead. “No. You know that’s not something I can share easily. If Blade’s going to pressure me to do something I don’t want to do—while calling me judgmental—I’m sure as hell not going to open up to him.”
Ayita makes a disgusted sound. “Men can be so stupid.”
I can’t help laughing, the tension in my chest easing a little. “They really can.”
“I’ll keep an eye on him,” she promises.
“Please don’t. There’s no point,” I respond quietly. “Let him do what he’s going to do.”
“Love you, Livy.”
“I love you too.”
We hang up, and I stare at the phone for a long moment, before powering it off, then dropping it on the bar. Then, I walk into the living room and slowly sink into the couch cushions. I notice Dad has fallen asleep, the TV flickering soft blue light over his face. I smile. I know he didn’t sleep well at all last night for the pain. I stare at his chest, watching it move up and down. It fills me with peace and kind of makes me zone out. The house feels too quiet now, and I tell myself it’s better this way. But deep down, the silence hurts worse than it ever did before.
I miss Blade and I hate that I do …
14 BLADE
The clubhouse lights were still flashing when I left.
Music thumping, laughter rolling out of the back hall, whiskey in the air—but I didn’t stay. I didn’t even want to be there without Olivia. I went because I told Hangman that I would, but my mind was somewhere else the whole damn night. Layna—one of the club girls with red hair, a short skirt, a tight shirt cut low to show her huge tits—slid her hand over my chest and asked if I wanted to party. Normally I’d grin, flirt a little, maybe take her up on it. Since having Olivia in my life, I have no interest at all. Without her, I just feel empty.
Bottom line, I just want my Olivia—and she’s not here.
I told the club girl no, finished my talk with Bear about the concrete contracts—my sole purpose for being here and then, I hit the road. I drove too fast, wind howling through the open window, every mile stretching between who I was and who I’m starting to become. For the first time in my life, I’m thinking about walking away from the club.