Total pages in book: 40
Estimated words: 38829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 194(@200wpm)___ 155(@250wpm)___ 129(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 38829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 194(@200wpm)___ 155(@250wpm)___ 129(@300wpm)
“Winnie, I’m not even sure I can do any of this tonight,” I confess softly.
“You can,” she argues at once. “Besides, I’m going to be with you every single step of the way. I promise you, Livy. I will not let you fall.”
I nod, my facial features tight with the effort it takes to withhold my tears. “Dad deserved better,” I whisper.
“He did, but you did all you could do. You’ve been his constant companion since you got free. You made his last two years on this earth peaceful and filled with your love for him. Do not let yourself forget that.”
“I’ll try. Thank you for going to the funeral with me tonight. I don’t expect a lot of people there, but the mere thought of being there …” I trail off, thinking of my father as tears sting my eyes. I lost out on so many of his good days because of the demon that biology made my brother. I hope he’s rotting in hell, but I’m almost positive he’s not. He’s in hiding, lying in wait to cause more pain. That’s who he is.
“Have you thought anymore about moving to the Black Stone Ranch? Carson said they’ve got a house you can stay in. You can work for him. It might make you feel more secure.”
I swallow nervously. Winnie has been really good to me. She has three cousins who own and operate Black Stone Ranch. They’re all ex-military, and she thought I’d feel safer there than out on my own. She’s probably right, but it also feels like another prison—even if it is one that I choose. I just can’t get myself to agree—at least not yet. I am thinking about moving. The only thing that stops me is that I have no idea where Douglas is hiding. My instincts are telling me I’m only safe here—in this place that I now loathe—because Douglas is afraid to come back here. I have more than enough reasons to hate the Saint’s Outlaws at this point, but if I can use them to my advantage, then I’ll do it. At least, I feel safe in knowing they have one member I can trust in their group.
“I’m still thinking about it. If they were in another state, I’d have already said yes. To be honest, I’m wondering if I shouldn’t be moving, Winnie.”
“That’s the last thing you need to be doing—at least somewhere you don’t have a support system set up. Let me help you, Livy. You’re not alone. If you weren’t so stubborn, you’d have enough money that you could hire your own security team,” she points out. She often tries to remind me of that. Bear had one of his men charged with finding me if something were to happen to him. The man gave me a letter and enough money to see me through the rest of my life. I haven’t touched the money. I’ve been living off my savings, and now, what remains from Dad's life insurance after covering his funeral expenses. I know I’ll have to find a job soon because I don’t want to touch Bear’s money. He gave me what I needed the most with his goodbye and his letter. Just the thought of it makes my heart squeeze in my chest. He deserved so much more than he received. I wish I could turn back the clock …
I take a breath and look at Winnie. “Let’s just go. Once I bury my father … then I’ll figure out what comes next.”
“Do you think the demon spawn will show up?”
“I don’t think so, but Sean is going to be there in case,” I admit.
“I think Detective Sutton would agree to be your personal bodyguard pretty easily,” she singsongs.
“Let’s go,” I whisper again, my voice hoarse with unshed tears. Winnie gets the hint and squeezes my hand as we walk out of my bedroom and through the main room.
I’m living in Winnie’s apartment. At some point that should probably change, but I feel a little safer not having anything in my name. I know, however, everything will change after today. People have seen my father’s obituary. They will show up today, just to see if I’m there. I fully expect to see Blade there. The man I thought I loved once. The man who lied to me. The man I suppose I betrayed—although it doesn’t feel like that.
If anything, I feel as if I betrayed Bear …
I push my thoughts away. I’m going to need all my energy to get through today. I’ll worry about everything else as it comes at me. If the last two years have taught me nothing, it’s that you just have to wait to see what comes next and pray you survive. That’s become my mantra, and it’s especially true today because I feel more alone than I’ve ever felt in my life.