Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 98000 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98000 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
“Why can’t I hate you?” His nails dig into me, his words countering the last ones he said to me. He slams his hips harder, faster. “I should, but I fucking can’t. Fuck you for that.”
“I’m sorry. I love you.” The words slip out between panting breaths and the toll his harsh fucking is taking on my body. My ass will be tender after this, but I don’t care, will be thankful for it because that means I’ll still feel him.
“I can’t…I fucking can’t.” His voice breaks, his dick pegging me just the right way every time he moves.
“I’m sorry. Whatever you need, I’ll do it. Just don’t…leave me.” It’s something else I have no right to ask him, but I’m a selfish motherfucker and can’t stop myself. “Use me. Take your anger out on me…but love me.”
“I do. Goddamn it, but I do.” He fucks into me again, his movements jerkier. Tiernan tenses, his dick spasming inside me. He bends over, growling and fucking, his forehead on my shoulder as he comes inside me. I want it all, need to be filled up with him, and just knowing that he’s giving me his load again, that I’m the only person who’s ever had him raw like this, makes me careen over the edge too.
I tremble, get dizzy as it feels like the world is coming apart around me, like we’re the only two people in the fucking world. I’ve never come without a hand on my cock before, but this moment is more than sex. It’s honesty and connection. It’s fulfillment and claiming what will always be ours.
Tiernan keeps fucking us both through our orgasms before stilling behind me. He doesn’t pull back, dick still snug in my ass, head still against my back, the two of us just breathing together.
“I can’t walk away from you,” he says so softly, I can barely make out the words.
“Don’t. Please don’t. We’ll figure it out.”
He nods against me, and for the first time since he kicked me out, I can breathe.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Tiernan
Dean’s been home for two weeks, and we haven’t spoken about my father since.
I’m even more cautious when it comes to my phone calls with my father or speaking about him. I’m stuck in an impossible situation where my loyalties are pulled in opposing directions.
I hate my father. There’s no denying that, but…he’s still my family. All my life I’ve been told that family is everything, and that included our extended family and anyone in our crew. My father doesn’t abide by those rules, despite them being what he’s always preached, but that doesn’t mean that in my core I don’t believe in them. Equally, I know that family isn’t blood. It’s the people who show up for you, the people you love and care about.
While not blood-related, Rory is more my family than my father will ever be.
And Dean…well, he’s fucking mine in every way he can be. I would die for him. I would lie for him. Clearly, I would betray my fucking family for him because that’s exactly what I’m doing. How can I not, though? Even if Dean wasn’t who he is to me, I understand why he would want to kill my father. I’d want the same thing; it’s what would be expected of me too.
The morning after the first night he came home, Cillian and Rory acted like nothing happened. They treated him like they always would, giving him shit and busting his balls. They did that for me. That’s the thing about chosen family—they’re here because they deserve to be, not simply because they’re supposed to be.
Aislin had to get her say first. She walked up to him, told him if he ever ignored her again, she would kick his ass. When he apologized, she hugged him, and then everything was all good with them too.
I’m glad he’s back where he belongs, even if I shouldn’t be. Even if I’m lying to said chosen family about who he is just as much as I am my blood family.
He’s being cautious. He tries to hide it, but I see it. He doesn’t want to fuck up, doesn’t want to lose me any more than I want to lose him. We’re both completely in and possessive that way. It’s probably not the healthiest of relationships, but I don’t give a damn.
“What are we doing tonight?” Rory asks while we’re all sitting around the table, eating dinner. Aislin is back to staying at her dorm, but she’s here with us often too. She wants independence, but there’s something to be said for comfort, for being around people who don’t judge you for all your scars. We have a-fucking-nough of them.
“I’m not doing jack shit,” I say. “I’m tired of fucking parties and going out and being around people.”