Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 75650 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75650 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
She shakes her head, and the amusement returns to her face. “Oh, not right away. I was pretty terrified of what was happening. I made you wait.”
“You did?” I am surprised.
Stay-see gives a solemn nod. “A whole day.”
I am startled. A day?
She laughs, pleasure making her eyes sparkle. “Right? I didn’t hold out for long. It was…inevitable, I guess. It felt very right to me, though. I never second-guessed a single moment. You took me aside and talked to me, just talked, like we had all the time in the world, and I thought you were the sweetest blue-skinned, horned alien I’d ever met. So I jumped you.”
It is this I wish to remember, more than the initial feeling of resonance. I want to know what it was like to see the fire in Stay-see’s eyes when she looked at me. I want to know what it felt like to touch her that first time.
She shrugs to herself, continuing, “After that moment, we were pretty inseparable. I’m sure some of it is the resonance, but…” She spreads her hands. “We just kind of got along really well. You were so funny and sweet and protective, and I loved being with you. I don’t think we’ve been apart since we resonated, except for a few extended hunting trips you had to go on.” Her lower lip quivers. “I think that’s why I took your…injury hard. I lost my mate and my best friend at the same time.”
I absorb her words. She still feels like she has lost me. It is going to take more than a conversation to convince her that I am the same person. “I will get my memories back,” I vow to her. “Just give me time.”
She nods. “It’s just hard.”
“I am trying.”
Her expression grows soft, and she reaches over to touch my bone-dust-covered hand. “I know. I’m trying, too. But I am going to try harder. I promise.”
7
STACY
We sleep apart at my suggestion. I’m not ready to have a bed-mate, not when I’m all mixed up inside. I want to get back to where we were, but I also don’t want to jump into things again and hurt both of us. I know that my rejection of him after sex the other day hurt, so I’m being more careful—with him and with myself.
If my request bothers him, he makes no sign of it. He hugs Pacy before I put him to bed, and gives me a brief smile before I retire to the back chamber of the cave. He will sleep in the front chamber to guard the entrance and watch the fire. The back cave is still warm, and sheltered from errant breezes that cut through the edges of the privacy screen, and I go to sleep easily.
When I wake up, there are three of the small bone plates waiting for me.
I touch the first one, feeling warm in my belly at the sight of it. The surface is completely smooth and polished, so pretty that you wouldn’t think it’s made of bone but instead of ivory. Each plate is slightly different in size, and I realize he’s probably spent hours at work on these while I slept. It’s…sweet.
Pashov is by the fire even now, feeding it small bits. He looks up as I enter, a pleased look on his face. “You are awake. Good. I need to go to the cache nearby and get fresh meat. Will you be all right here by yourself for a time?”
“Of course.” I’m a little disappointed he’s going to run out the door the moment I wake up, but we do need food. I pull Pacy into my lap and open my tunic to feed him to keep myself busy.
Pashov watches us for a moment, and then unfolds his long legs, getting to his feet. “I put tea on the fire,” he says, gesturing at the tripod with the hanging pouch set up over the flames. “It should be warm soon.”
“Thank you,” I tell him politely, though I’m not a big fan of the sa-khui tea flavors. It’s nice of him to try, though, and I’ll drink it just because he put in the effort. “And thank you for the plates. They’re lovely.”
He watches me with burning eyes. “Anything you wish for, Stay-see, you ask and I will bring it to you.”
His expression is so intense, so earnest, that I feel my entire body flush in response. I murmur my thanks and concentrate on feeding my baby, wishing I wasn’t being such an awkward dweeb about things. He’s seen my breasts plenty of times. He’s seen the baby nurse plenty of times. I shouldn’t be weird about it.
But of course, I’m thinking about the story I told him yesterday of our resonance, and the intense longing on his face the entire time I spoke. It makes me hyper-aware of his reactions to me, and even exposing a tiny bit of skin feels like a subtle tease. Which is stupid—breastfeeding is natural, and the way he’s looking at me isn’t sexual. It’s longing. He wants to be included in the family.