Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 88262 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88262 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
But it had crept up on me. Taken hold.
And I’d heard myself telling Max that I loved him like it was coming from a dormant part of me, some part I’d kept neglected in the dark for a long, long time.
I hated keeping secrets, although I’d been forced to become good at it.
And that’s why it’s time to tell him.
Tell.
Him.
But lying?
I was almost incapable of lying.
The moment the realization had crested inside me, that I loved him, a new, fresh love that didn’t have any business coming from a person like me…
I couldn’t lie about it.
I knew Max could still get hurt. I knew I was bound to be hurt, too.
But I could no longer hide from the truth.
It was a little past eight in the morning, already walking out onto the land as the sun bathed the rock and grass in a dewy white sheen.
I stayed close to Max as we walked along the carefully manicured gravel path. After being away from the mountains for even a short while, their height seemed endless. The snow caps on each of them reached up to the sky, and we crossed the valley below.
Birds sang. Butterflies floated through the air, little and gold.
You’d almost think this place was paradise.
It was a shame that I knew better than that.
Another reason it’s time to tell him.
“There she is,” I told Max as I saw Veil.
Veil was visible even from far off, out on the far end of the stables and poking her head through the opening on the west edge of the structure.
“Wow,” he said as we approached her. “She seems… mystical. Like she belongs in a fantasy movie instead of real life.”
“Doesn’t she?” I agreed as we walked into the stables and crossed over to her stall. “Dominic used to say she looked like she should be in Lord of the Rings.”
Max hummed, smiling softly at me. I never thought I could see a face as sweet as his here, but a lot had changed in my life recently.
I’d given him a pale brown cowboy hat to wear and while it wasn’t his usual look, it was so goddamned adorable it almost crushed my heart.
What does this man do to me?
“Can’t picture you watching Lord of the Rings,” Max said.
“Excuse me?” I protested. “I love those movies.”
“But have you ever read the books?”
“Well, no. But I would.”
“I haven’t either. Maybe you should read them to me each night before bed.”
I ran my hand along his back. “I’ll be too busy fucking you to read you stories about hobbits and elves.”
Every alarm bell inside me still went off as I discussed anything relating to the future with Max. I was just ignoring them, now.
Maybe a bad idea, but I’ve always been full of those.
I’ll tell him.
I just don’t know when.
I was pretty sure I’d ignore any good common sense now if it meant that I could have more of Max.
But there was still one more thing he had to know about me… and it needed to happen today.
“I’ll take Veil, because she can be… particular,” I said.
“Just like you?”
“Exactly like me. Over in the far corner, you’ll find a gelding with a red coat. That’s Jasper. You can take him, because he loves everyone.”
I headed over with Max and helped gather Jasper, his equipment and saddle.
“They seem like they’ve been under good care,” Max said.
“Money doesn’t fix everything, but it does mean I have the best care for them if I ever need to be gone,” I told him. “I still hate being away from them, but they are always safe.”
Veil’s black coat shone under the morning light as I took her out of the stables, walking her out onto one of the dirt paths alongside Max and Jasper.
I helped him saddle up Jasper and get prepped to ride, and then I spent some time with Veil, who seemed to miss me as much as I’d missed her.
It was a deep ache I couldn’t get rid of.
Everything felt a little softer, after last night, but it still didn’t sit right with me that all of this was mine—the land, the horses, the house—but I never felt like I could enjoy any of it without the looming spectre of my family hovering through the air in Montana.
I felt safe, because so far my father didn’t know I was back and I wasn’t in immediate danger.
But it was almost as if my own land didn’t quite feel like mine anymore.
It was Lyons land.
I thought of my little plot of earth in Tennessee. How small it had seemed, and how small it still was, in comparison to this.
But I realized, with a growing disbelief, that it was the most independent I’d ever felt in my life.
“You ready?” I asked Max.
He nodded, going for the stirrup.
I reached out, stopping him, grasping one of his belt loops.